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many people believe that greed, or the desire to have more wealth than other people have, is a bad characteristic; people who are greedy are often considered selfish or unkind. However, some people argue that greed is actually a good characteristic for a v.1

many people believe that greed, or the desire to have more wealth than other people have, is a bad characteristic; people who are greedy are often considered selfish or unkind. However, some people argue that greed is actually a good characteristic for a v. 1
Some people opine that children should learn how to be good members of society from the institute, whereas others feel this is the role of parents. This essay agrees that parents should teach children how to be good persons. Initially, parents should teach children how to be a good person because they understand their children more than other people. In the family will have some unique family culture or activity that who are family member are known while others do not get it, also usually have many activities they do together which make it easier for parents to teach children. For example, when I was a little girl, my parents always taught me through the story at night about good thing which a nice person should have to do and what is the bad thing that I should not do. Even though children spend much time with a teacher for education, but children can spend time with their parents more. The parent has much time and many opportunities to teach their children because most schools accept children at age over three years old, in this period children have to stay at home and learn basic social skills from their parents. While children can go to school, they still stay with their parents after school, weekend and holiday. For instance, parents can guide their children about something that happen on the way while they pick up children after school, it is easy to teach their children when a whole family stays at home on the weekend and they can suggest children be polite when meeting other people in the holiday trip. In conclusion, parents are a very important person who should teach children how to be good people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of society from the institute, whereas others feel this is the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
persons.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
culture or activity that who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member
are known
while others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it,
also
usually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities they do together which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, when I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
girl, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always taught me through the story at night about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing which a nice person should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do and what is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing that I should not do.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend much time with a teacher for education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can spend time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
has much time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at age over three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, in this period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home and learn basic social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they
still
stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, weekend and holiday.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about something that happen on the way while they pick up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
stays at home on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weekend and
they can suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be polite when meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the holiday trip.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
person who should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay many people believe that greed, or the desire to have more wealth than other people have, is a bad characteristic; people who are greedy are often considered selfish or unkind. However, some people argue that greed is actually a good characteristic for a v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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