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Many people believe that countries should produce food for all population eats and import food as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Many people believe that countries should produce food for all population eats and import food as little as possible. v. 1
It is a common belief that ensuring adequate food for all population always a hot topic during centuries. While some people agree that the country should produce all kinds of food for their residents instead of getting all the food from overseas countries. However, I cannot entirely agree with the given statement. On the one hand, some people argue that countries should make plenty of storage foods for their residents because of some factors. First of all, self-sufficient supply is a way to cut food cost to some extent. For example, importing food from overseas countries, then the government has to deal with transportation cost, taxation, and other charges. Moreover, using import food which can affect people’s health. For instance, when food import in a long distance, then it cannot ensure the quality or freshness. Nevertheless, I believe that self-sufficient supply can bring some downside for their nations. Firstly, it is not suitable for all the countries in the world. For example, some countries had been desertification and drought. Therefore, they cannot grow plants to supply for themselves. Secondly, it does not benefit the global economy. For instance, when a country is not connected with other countries in the world, it might become isolation country, it might cut its economy and lag behind compared with the world. In summarize, while some people think that their countries do not need to import foods or goods from foreign countries because they think the government should produce all the food for them. However, I disagree with this view because this will bring some drawbacks and not suitable in some countries.
It is a common belief that ensuring adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for all population always a hot topic during centuries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should produce all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their residents
instead
of getting all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, I cannot
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
for their residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, self-sufficient supply is a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cost to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For example
, importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deal with transportation cost, taxation, and other charges.
Moreover
, using import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
import in a long distance, then it cannot ensure the quality or freshness.

Nevertheless
, I believe that self-sufficient supply can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downside for their nations.
Firstly
, it is not suitable for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
had been desertification and drought.
Therefore
, they cannot grow plants to supply for themselves.
Secondly
, it does not benefit the global economy.
For instance
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not connected with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, it might become isolation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
its economy and lag behind compared with the world.

In summarize, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not need to import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should produce all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for them.
However
, I disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks and not suitable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many people believe that countries should produce food for all population eats and import food as little as possible. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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