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Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production in an appropriate goal? v.6

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production in an appropriate goal? v. 6
Nowadays people believe that the goal of every state should be the suction of an increasing production. I personally agree that creation of goods should be made by each country for their people and economies, but increasing the manufacturing products may not be the best goal. To begin with, producing more material and goods is and appropriate goal for a country because it will have results in economic developments. It is commonly acknowledged that with a strong economy, the government could solve problems such as poverty, starvation and so on efficiently. For example, thanks to the massive increase in productions, China had the money to improve their infrastructure system which reduced traffic jams significantly. On the other hand, if increasing production is the only goal of a nation, a variety of problems can occur. Firstly, the environment will be affected. For example, in Vietnam, a massive area of the sea in the middle of the country was heavily polluted by a company with the non-compliant waste treatment system, resulting in visitor’s allergy and declined fish sales. Additionally, human exploitation may occur. Even though money is essential in our life, it is morally unacceptable if the government places the importance of a strong economy over the happiness and well-being of a citizen in a nation. In conclusion, despite the importance of increasing production, this should not be the only goal for every nation. Other goals, such as preserving the environment and the citizens' happiness should be considered as important. Fuck the world.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
of every state should be the suction of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that creation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
should
be made
by each country for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and economies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the manufacturing products may not be the best goal.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, producing more material and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is and appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
for a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will have results in economic developments. It is
commonly
acknowledged that with a strong economy, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could solve problems such as poverty, starvation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
efficiently
.
For example
, thanks to the massive increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
, China had the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their infrastructure system which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
traffic jams
significantly
.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
of a nation, a variety of problems can occur.
Firstly
, the environment will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
For example
, in Vietnam, a massive area of the sea in the middle of the country was
heavily
polluted by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with the non-compliant waste treatment system, resulting in visitor’s allergy and declined fish sales.
Additionally
, human exploitation may occur.
Even though
money is essential in our life, it is
morally
unacceptable if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
places the importance of a strong economy over the happiness and well-being of a citizen in a nation.

In conclusion
, despite the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, this should not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
for every nation. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
, such as preserving the environment and the citizens' happiness should
be considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This word is considered offensive.
Fuck
the world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production in an appropriate goal? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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