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Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v.4

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v. 4
Improving the country's economy is vital in every state. Moreover, some think that this will be possible when there is an increase production of products. As a result, an assumption has been generated - each country aims to make multitude goods and materials. My conviction partly approves with the aforementioned concept and the reasons will be discussed in this essay. In certain demographics of the world, trades and exports are key players in their economic growth. If a country is rich in products, more investors will be attracted. Consequently, the agencies of sovereignty can guarantee a financial stability. A stellar example of such is Indonesia. They are known to be a supplier of rice all over the world. Furthermore, all year-round, the local of the said region plant the particularly in-demand crop. The cost of living is not essentially high, thereby, they can guarantee a competitive profit out of their goods. Substantially, maintaining an excellent production and exchange of products is crucial in different areas. On the other hand, the goal of a specific government must not be limited to the fruitful creation of more materials as one place needs might not be applicable to others. If one deliberately thinks about it, every community is unique. For instance, the southern continents might be suffering from economic-related predicaments while the rest might be wealthy, however, health issues must be their main issue. Hence, establishing a universal aim might contribute riffle of conflicts specifically in progressive areas. A thorough strategic planning among the public leaders must be done in order to address relevant problems. For instance, China is already known to product variety of goods, but they are experiencing COVID-19 outbreaks. Furthermore, advanced measures must be derived from the existing phenomenon. Clearly, the goals must be subjective according to the needs of one continent. In conclusion, focusing on material production may not be an applicable policy to some. Furthermore, the objectives of every nation must be based on their current phenomena. At the end of the day, every locality has existing leaders to look after their constituents likewise their needs.
Improving the country's economy is vital in every state.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this will be possible when there is an increase production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
As a result
, an assumption has
been generated
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
each country aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
multitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and materials. My conviction partly approves with the aforementioned concept and the reasons will
be discussed
in this essay.

In certain demographics of the world, trades and exports are key players in their economic growth. If a country is rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, more investors will
be attracted
.
Consequently
, the agencies of sovereignty can guarantee a financial stability. A stellar example of such is Indonesia. They
are known
to be a supplier of rice all over the world.
Furthermore
, all year-round, the local of the said region plant the
particularly
in-demand crop. The cost of living is not
essentially
high, thereby, they can guarantee a competitive profit out of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Substantially
, maintaining an excellent production and exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is crucial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas.

On the other hand
, the goal of a specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be limited
to the fruitful creation of more materials as one place needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be applicable to others. If one
deliberately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about it, every community is unique.
For instance
, the southern continents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be suffering from economic-related predicaments while the rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be wealthy,
however
, health issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be their main issue.
Hence
, establishing a universal aim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
contribute riffle of conflicts
specifically
in progressive areas. A thorough strategic planning among the public leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
in order to address relevant problems.
For instance
, China is already known to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are experiencing COVID-19 outbreaks.
Furthermore
, advanced measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be derived
from the existing phenomenon.
Clearly
, the goals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be subjective according to the needs of one continent.

In conclusion
, focusing on material production may not be an applicable policy to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
Furthermore
, the objectives of every nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be based
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
phenomena. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, every locality has existing leaders to look after their constituents
likewise
their needs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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