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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous? v.1

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? v. 1
There is no doubt that throughout the last decade, the rise of living standards has turned human lives into new pages, especially entertainment industry, which has been known for its glamorous lifestyle. It is generally believed that with full of money and fame, celebrities can live happily ever after, however, it is not. From my perspective, I strongly advocate with the idea that despite richness as well as reputation, stars are not satisfied with their own life which is the most expensive price in trade for popularity. More specifically, celebrities do not lead a happy life in terms of privacy loss and heavy pressure. First, considering privacy, we all know that being famous mean being kept an eye on everywhere. There are thousands of times we found Justin Bieber feel annoyed being followed by paparazzi through streets or even on his way home, for example. It is apparent that media, press are making profit by putting more emphasis on private lives of stars than ever, which affect greatly to not only the people but also their families. Second, regarding heavy stress, the more famous stars are, the more pressure they are put under. Stress comes from different factors such as family responsibilities or fans' expectations and even groundless rumors. Therefore, celebrities nowadays have to cope with so many problems that they end up using alcohol or drugs as a way of escaping from this heartless society. From my point of view, an unpleasant life is the price for their reputation. As we all know, putting one leg in this industry means trade the freedom and ordinary lifestyle in turn of fame and money. Moreover, being rich and gain publicity as being one role model obviously public are willing to dig deeper hole in celebs daily routines out of curiosity. In a nutshell, both private life and pressure are two most outstanding reasons lead to dissatisfaction in celebs' lives and that are what they have to trade for being a public figure.
There is no doubt that throughout the last decade, the rise of living standards has turned human
lives
into new pages,
especially
entertainment industry, which has
been known
for its glamorous lifestyle. It is
generally
believed that with full of money and fame, celebrities can
live
happily
ever after,
however
, it is not. From my perspective, I
strongly
advocate with the
idea
that despite richness
as well
as reputation, stars are not satisfied with their
own
life
which is the most expensive price in trade for popularity.

More
specifically
, celebrities do not lead a happy
life
in terms of privacy loss and heavy pressure.
First
, considering privacy, we all know that being
famous
mean being
kept
an eye on everywhere. There are thousands of times we found Justin Bieber feel annoyed
being followed
by paparazzi through streets or even on his way home,
for example
. It is apparent that media, press are making profit by putting more emphasis on private
lives
of stars than ever, which affect
greatly
to not
only
the
people
but
also
their families. Second, regarding heavy
stress
, the more
famous
stars are, the more pressure they
are put
under.
Stress
comes
from
different
factors such as family responsibilities or fans' expectations and even groundless rumors.
Therefore
, celebrities nowadays
have to
cope with
so
many
problems that they
end
up using alcohol or drugs as a way of escaping from this heartless society.

From my point of view, an unpleasant
life
is the price for their reputation. As we all know, putting one leg in this industry means trade the freedom and ordinary lifestyle in turn of fame and money.
Moreover
, being rich and gain publicity as being one role model
obviously
public are willing to dig deeper hole in celebs daily routines out of curiosity.

In a nutshell, both private
life
and pressure are two most outstanding reasons lead to dissatisfaction in celebs'
lives
and that are what they
have to
trade for being a public figure.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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