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Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. with this statement? v. 1
It is often argued that smoking should be prohibited because of the adverse effect on people's health. This essay agrees with the idea that cigarette should be forbidden. The essay will first show that people can be negatively affected by cigarettes, and then it will demonstrate why it is necessary to impose a ban on smoking. Firstly, it is true that using cigarettes must not be allowed due to their adverse effect for people's health. This is because cigarettes contain a variety of toxic chemicals, including nicotine, which is able to damage people’s lung. As a result, people may suffer from various types of respiratory diseases, even fatal diseases like lung cancer, if they smoke as their daily routine. For example, in Vietnam, smoking is the reason for more than 40000 deaths every year, and most of these cases are lung cancer. Secondly, that is necessary for people to place a forbiddance on smoking in order to alleviate the problems in terms of human health. The reason is that if cigarette users stop smoking, their risk of suffering from hazardous ailments relating to their respiratory system can be reduced significantly. Moreover, people who do not smoke actively are also less likely to sniff harmful gases from cigarettes, because passive smokers can face with greater risks than active smokers, especially pregnant women, children and old people. Consequently, there are the reasons why many countries have put a ban on smoking, particularly in public places like schools and hospitals, and anyone who violates can be heavily fined. In conclusion, smoking is able to cause negative impacts for human health, so forbidding smoking is the action that should be implemented as soon as possible.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be prohibited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the adverse effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
should
be forbidden
. The essay will
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
, and then it will demonstrate why it is necessary to impose a ban on smoking.

Firstly
, it is true that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
due to their adverse effect for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
contain a variety of toxic chemicals, including nicotine, which is able to damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lung.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer from various types of respiratory diseases, even fatal diseases like lung cancer, if they smoke as their daily routine.
For example
, in Vietnam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is the reason for more than 40000 deaths every year, and most of these cases are lung cancer.

Secondly
,
that is
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to place a
Possible spelling mistake found.
forbiddance
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in order to alleviate the problems in terms of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The reason is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of suffering from hazardous ailments relating to their respiratory system can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not smoke
actively
are
also
less likely to sniff harmful gases from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
passive smokers can face with greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
than active smokers,
especially
pregnant women, children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Consequently
, there are the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have put a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
particularly
in public places like schools and hospitals, and anyone who violates can be
heavily
fined.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is able to cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forbidding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is the action that should
be implemented
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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