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By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 1
By using capital punishment as fine for killing criminals we may execute a person who is innocent and also the results show that this penalty has not decreased the number of murders as a result, I agree that living in prison is the correct form of penalty for them. A group of people deems that if we use the death penalty it delivers to people think that if they do so they will get the same punishment and in hardest situations, they do not choose this way for revenue and it keeps the society safe and ensures that high level of security is available in their country, for example, these days in 21 century we see that many countries like Saudi Arabia use this way for punishing murders and the majority of people in this country agree with this statement because they believe in traditions more than science and using the educational system as a tool for solving this problem. On the other hand, another group of people believes that if we use this way for punishment, We are promoting murder and showing that killing is a way of solving problems and this is a promotion, They think that if we keep the criminals in prison and disconnect their connection from the society we have chosen the right way of punishment and this has a better effect for decreasing the number of murders in society, for example, many countries like Switzerland or Norway they keep them in prison and they believe that after ten or twenty years they can become a new person who is not a danger for society. And at the opposite of the first group, they think that education is the correct solution. As a result, I agree with the second group of people. Because we can see that in countries which they believe in using education as the main solution to this problem the number of murders is sightly less than in other countries.
By using capital punishment as fine for killing criminals we may execute a person who is innocent and
also
the results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that this penalty has not decreased the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
as a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that living in prison is the correct form of penalty for them.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deems that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the death penalty it delivers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same punishment and in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the hardest".
hardest
situations, they do not choose this way for revenue and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
safe and ensures that high level of security is available in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
for example
, these days in
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Saudi Arabia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this way for punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in traditions more than science and using the educational system as a tool for solving this problem.

On the other hand
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this way for punishment,

We are promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murder
and showing that killing is a way of solving problems and this is a promotion, They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the criminals in prison and disconnect their connection from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
we have chosen the right way of punishment and this has a better effect for decreasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Switzerland or Norway they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prison and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that after ten or twenty years they can become a new person who is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. And at the opposite of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that education is the correct solution.

As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in using education as the main solution to this problem the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
is
sightly
less than in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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