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Many people are working at home rather than in workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the worker and their families, but others suggests it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many people are working at home rather than in workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the worker and their families, but others suggests it will cause stress in the home. v. 1
Big companies nowadays are encouraging employees to work from home rather than coming to office. While many argue that this trend can cause stress in the families. I believe the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, working from your home relieves stress rather than causing it. In other words, people going to office are generally not available. In contrast, individuals working from home can support their families emotionally. For instance, if someone is sick, you will be able to provide for them, and support them better if you are with them. Furthermore, if can employee works late, the family is worried. Alternatively, they can easily work late from home without troubling them. On the other hand, the benefit is, you can spend more time with your children and spouse. This is because a person usually spends two hours commuting to office. For example, this time can be utilised cooking dinner with your family. It helps in bringing families closer. In addition, in-person meeting at office wastes a lot of time. They tend to go on for hours. However, online meeting saves crucial time that can be used elsewhere. If we are working at home, all the time being wasted on calls and meetings can be used to be with your family. To conclude, although being in office improves your productivity, but working at home has much more benefit. You can not only support your family emotionally, but be with them physically at all times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
nowadays are encouraging employees to work from home
rather
than coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that this trend can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. I believe the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from your home relieves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
rather
than causing it.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
are
generally
not available.
In contrast
, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home can support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
emotionally
.
For instance
, if someone is sick, you will be able to provide for them, and support them better if you are with them.
Furthermore
, if can employee works late, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is worried
.
Alternatively
, they can
easily
work late from home without troubling them.

On the other hand
, the benefit is, you can spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your children and spouse. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person
usually
spends two hours commuting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
For example
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
cooking dinner with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
closer.
In addition
, in-person meeting at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They tend to go on for hours.
However
, online meeting saves crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
elsewhere. If we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being wasted
on calls and meetings can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be with your family.

To conclude
, although being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
your productivity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home has much more benefit. You can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
support your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
emotionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
be with them
physically
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Many people are working at home rather than in workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the worker and their families, but others suggests it will cause stress in the home. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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