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Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. v. 2
Work from home is becoming common in our society these days. Some are preferring to work from home instead of going to an outdoor office. A significant number of people believe that this trend profits to the employees and their families. However, others argue that it causes strain in the house environment. In this essay, both views will be discussed followed by an opinion. On the one side, the biggest advantage of working from home is all the duties are performed according to the employee’s willingness. The employee can facilitate its priorities to perform a task without any pressure and in the midst can spend the spear time with family members. In addition to that, a comfort zone is also an advantage in this type of job, in which a person does not require to follow duty hours on a daily basis. He or she can start their work at any time according to their interest and convenience. On the other side, jobs at home enhance the mixture of personal and professional which sometimes become difficult and annoying for the person as well as for their family members, especially for those who lack management skills. Performing home duties and work simultaneously can trouble a family relationship of worker with other members of the house. Hence performing a task at home should be chosen carefully. In summary, home jobs are quite popular these days as it benefits the employee in numerous ways although there are some drawbacks such as adverse effects on family bonding and some efforts are required to minimize these negative side by segregating home and work tasks. Hence, I believe that work from home is way more beneficial for the employee.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
from home is becoming common in our society these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
instead
of going to an outdoor office. A significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this trend profits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
However
, others argue that it causes strain in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
environment. In this essay, both views will
be discussed
followed by an opinion.

On the one side, the biggest advantage of working from home is all the duties
are performed
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
willingness. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can facilitate its priorities to perform a task without any pressure and in the midst can spend the spear time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
In addition
to that, a comfort zone is
also
an advantage in this type of job, in which a person does not require
Did you mean "following"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to follow
duty hours on a daily basis. He or she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at any time according to their interest and convenience.

On the other side, jobs at home enhance the mixture of personal and professional which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
become difficult and annoying for the person
as well
as for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
especially
for those who lack management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Performing home duties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
simultaneously
can trouble a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship of worker with other members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
performing a task at home should
be chosen
carefully
.

In summary, home jobs are quite popular these days as it benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in numerous ways although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efforts
are required
to minimize these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side by segregating home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tasks.
Hence
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home is way more beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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