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The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v.4

The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v. 4
Now it becomes a trend to travel at different locations hence, the expenses of traveling other countries are going down and tourism has increased. So, in this essay, I will discuss pros and cons of the above statement so that a feasible conclusion comes at the end. With globalization, it becomes easier to travel from one place to another hence, mosses are traveling without any obstacles. Tourists plays a vital role in the development of the country. These are myriad of the reasons, to begin with, firstly, expediters admire to explore new places due to this they spend huge money to relish this hence, it results in boosting the economy of that particular country for instance, Dubai has maximum count of visitors so, they have strong economy because people come there and spend money in buying jewelry, visiting amusement parks and shopping malls. In addition to this, when a person visits to another country indirectly they are cheering their culture and tradition with each other such as Indian prefers to eat spicy food whereas in Brazil they do not like to have chili in their food. Lastly, a country which has more tourist i' m explorers have more reputation in the world and they have separate identity. On the other hand, it has been observed that countries with high tourist rate have high crime rate. Local people take advantage of voyager' s and aggravate their visit by stealing and kidnapping them. Moreover, language barrier makes the situation more deteriorated, instead of helping them they misguide them. In spite of this, in some countries it has been found that visas are not given to those countries whose people are not well behaved, disciplined and tidy. By concluding this, no Doubt tourism has increased and many countries are getting benefit from it in monetary terms but it also giving rise to Crime also.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it becomes a trend to travel at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations
hence
, the expenses of traveling other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are going down and tourism has increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this essay, I will discuss

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pros
and cons of the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a feasible conclusion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

With globalization, it becomes easier to travel from one place to another
hence
, mosses are traveling without any obstacles.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "tourist plays".
Tourists plays
a vital role in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. These are myriad of the reasons, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
firstly
, expediters admire to explore new places due to this they spend huge money to relish this
hence
, it results in boosting the economy of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for instance
, Dubai has maximum count of visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they have strong economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there and spend money in buying jewelry, visiting amusement parks and shopping malls.

In addition
to this, when a person visits to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
indirectly
they are cheering their culture and tradition with each other such as Indian prefers to eat spicy food whereas in Brazil they do not like to have chili in their food.
Lastly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which has more tourist
Possible spelling mistake found.
i&
#039; m explorers have more reputation in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they have separate identity.

On the other hand
, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with high tourist rate have high crime rate. Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take advantage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
voyager&
#039; s and aggravate their visit by stealing and kidnapping them.
Moreover
, language barrier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the situation more deteriorated,
instead
of helping them they misguide them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it has
been found
that visas are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
, disciplined and tidy.

By concluding this, no Doubt tourism has increased and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are getting benefit from it in monetary terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
giving rise to Crime
also
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay The cost of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries? v. 4

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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