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Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v.2

Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v. 2
Over recent decades, there has been an increasing fear of crime in many countries. Although some think that there is little that can be done to reduce the levels of crime, I believe there are measures that can be implemented. Those that believe that nothing can be done hold this view for several reasons. Firstly they think that a fear of crime is a state of mind perpetuated by the media. for example, we are constantly bombarded with negative news stories about crime people will still be scared. Another belief is that crime is caused by wider structural issues in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor. Little then can be done this issue in our capitalist socities. However, I feel that there are solutions that will ensure people feel safer outside their homes. Government can increase the number of police in local communities and more neighbourhood watch scheme should be encouraged both of which increase safety and deter crime. The media should be encouraged to present more positive stories about how crime is tackled rather than focus on the negative. In terms of the structural issues, government should attempt to tackle issue of poverty through better income distribution. To conclude there is a widely held view that nothing can be done to prevent crime. In contrast to this opinion, I would argue that there are option available that would help prevent crime and therefore reduce the fear of crime.
Over recent decades, there has been an increasing fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
that can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, I believe there are measures that can
be implemented
.

Those that believe that nothing can
be done
hold this view for several reasons.
Firstly
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a state of mind perpetuated by the media.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, we are
constantly
bombarded with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
news stories about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
still
be scared
. Another belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is caused
by wider structural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Little
then can
be done
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in our capitalist
Possible spelling mistake found.
socities
.

However
, I feel that there are solutions that will ensure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel safer outside their homes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can increase the number of police in local communities and more
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
scheme should
be encouraged
both of which increase safety and deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The media should
be encouraged
to present more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
stories about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is tackled
rather
than focus on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. In terms of the structural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should attempt to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of poverty through better income distribution.

To conclude
there is a
widely
held view that nothing can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In contrast
to this opinion, I would argue that there are option available that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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