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These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development? v.6

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development? v. 6
There is a controversial issue about the impact of long separation on the family bonds, while traveling overseas for business reasons. Some economists claim that it causes positive effects on the family, while some social workers state that it leads to household problems. In this essay, I will discuss both pros and cons of this and agree that it creates more complications on families. Let us start with the advantages of moving to other countries with family members. The first benefit is that many people will not suffer from loneliness on business trips. Employees, who travel abroad for a long period of time, often miss their family, but now that they can relocate to other nations with their family, they will stop longing for motherland. Another positive effect is that family ties usually remain stable. Many families break relationship, when living overseas on business, one of the spouse decides to divorce, because they find another partner, but travelling with family helps to avoid such situations. Therefore, the opportunity to take family, while doing work abroad, strengthens relationship and prevents it from collapses. However, despite the advantages, business trips overseas have many drawbacks. Firstly, it may pose discomfort for children in education. Children may feel frustrated when their parents will often change residence, because it is difficult for them to both adjust to new school and make friends with classmates. Secondly, the other spouse has to quit a perspective job. Many wives, for instance, are to resign from their suitable workplace and seek a new position in a new country, which often force to start a career again. As a result, business relocation to another country with family create problems to other members, who have settled lifestyle. In conclusion, even though some economists believe that traveling with family on business trips has many positive sides, I think that this type of journey imposes more problems for the above mentioned reasons.
There is a controversial issue about the impact of long separation on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds, while traveling overseas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
economists claim that it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social workers state that it leads to household problems. In this essay, I will discuss both pros and cons of this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it creates more complications on families.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the advantages of moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. The
first
benefit is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not suffer from loneliness on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trips. Employees, who travel abroad for a long period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
miss their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that they can relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
longing for motherland. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties
usually
remain stable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
break relationship, when living overseas on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, one of the spouse decides to divorce,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find another partner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
travelling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to avoid such situations.
Therefore
, the opportunity to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, while doing work abroad, strengthens relationship and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
it from collapses.

However
, despite the advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trips overseas have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks.
Firstly
, it may pose discomfort for children in education. Children may feel frustrated when their parents will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
residence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult for them to both adjust to new school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with classmates.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
spouse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
quit a perspective job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
wives,
for instance
, are to resign from their suitable workplace and seek a new position in a new country, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
force to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a career again.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
relocation to another country with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
create problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members, who have settled lifestyle.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
economists believe that traveling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trips has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this type of journey imposes more problems for the above mentioned reasons.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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