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Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v.1

Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v. 1
The idea, who is responsible for the preservation of the environment, has sparked much debate in recent years. Some individuals contend that it is the government, who should take adequate steps, while others opine that every citizen of the country ought to understand their role in saving the ecosystem. Notwithstanding, this discourse will delve into these viewpoints, and subsequently put forward my own perspective accordingly. Admittedly, the proponents of the view of individuals’ role in sustaining the environment have their own justification. The rationale behind their argument might be that it is the human whose actions have resulted in the deterioration of the environment. So, if, as a responsible human, we start to take preventive steps in order to save the ecosystem, then it will have an enormous impact on the ecosystem. In India, to epitomize, people have switched from petrol vehicles to electric vehicles, so that the emission of the poisonous gases can be controlled. However, taking a look from the flip side, could the contenders of the school of thought that postulate that government’s role in preserving the ecosystem is pivotal be absolutely right? Certainly, the justification for their argument is much likely that the government can impose laws and outlaw the use of certain elements such as plastic, petroleum products. Moreover, the government should promote the usage of environment- friendly products. Not only does this lead to better conditions to live in, but it will also prevent deadly diseases from spreading. In conclusion, having explored both sides of the arguments, I reiterate that both individuals and the government should share the responsibility of saving the environment. However, I consent to the hilt that the government’s role in preserving the ecosystem is indispensable, and the government’s actions can impact this on a larger scale.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, who is responsible for the preservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, has sparked much debate in recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals contend that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, who should take adequate steps, while others opine that every citizen of the country ought to understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in saving the ecosystem. Notwithstanding, this discourse will delve into these viewpoints, and
subsequently
put forward my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective
accordingly
.

Admittedly
, the proponents of the view of individuals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in sustaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
justification. The rationale behind their argument might be that it is the human whose actions have resulted in the deterioration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if, as a responsible human, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to take preventive steps in order to save the ecosystem, then it will have an enormous impact on the ecosystem. In India, to epitomize,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have switched from petrol vehicles to electric vehicles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the emission of the poisonous gases can
be controlled
.

However
, taking a look from the flip side, could the contenders of the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that postulate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in preserving the ecosystem is pivotal be
absolutely
right?
Certainly
, the justification for their argument is much likely that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can impose laws and outlaw the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of certain elements such as plastic, petroleum products.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should promote the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment-
friendly products. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this lead to better conditions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deadly diseases from spreading.

In conclusion
, having explored both sides of the arguments, I reiterate that both individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should share the responsibility of saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
, I consent to the hilt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in preserving the ecosystem is indispensable, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
actions can impact this on a larger scale.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, where as other feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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