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Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v.8

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v. 8
some people assume that vaccinating infants is unimportant and also, risky. In my opinion, completely disagree with that the idea of vaccine being unnecessary and even believe, it is a way to prevent various kind of infectious disease. This essay will first argue why vaccine is good for children and further discuss major consequences of vaccinating children. firstly, vaccinating helps to prevent many infectious diseases that could be spread though air or water. There is a trend for vaccinating children in many parts of the world as it has bring more decline in death around the world. Diseases like; hepatitis, measles, etc. when vaccinated earlier are less likely to get infected from these in future. It is found more effective that any other medicine. Along with that, it prevents from amputation of arm or leg, paralysis of limbs or loss of hearing. Large number of vaccination has led to the dramatic decline in the number of several infectious disease around the world. on the other hand, vaccination has common side effects like; irritation, swelling or redness around the injected area, slight fever and allergic reaction. However these are minor side effects and last for few days. Nevertheless, the benefits outweighs these demerits of vaccination. perhaps, More importantly it save those to whom we care and love in a cost-effective way. Moreover, the safest way to prevent any child from infectious disease disease is through vaccination as it is approved by food and drug administration (FDA) and also, reviewed its safety regularly. In conclusion, vaccination is a better idea to prevent child from risk to the infectious disease as it is cost-effective and safety. I believe, talking vaccination as unnecessary and dangerous is risky to their children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
infants is unimportant and
also
, risky. In my opinion, completely disagree with that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of vaccine being unnecessary and even believe, it is a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
various kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. This essay will
first
argue why vaccine is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children and
further
discuss major consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
children.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
that could
be spread
though air or water. There is a trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccinating
children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world as it has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
more decline in death around the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diseases
like; hepatitis, measles, etc. when vaccinated earlier are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
infected from these
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. It
is found
more effective that any other medicine. Along with that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevents
from amputation of arm or leg, paralysis of limbs or loss of hearing. Large number of vaccination has led to the dramatic decline in the number of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
around the world.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, vaccination has common side effects like; irritation, swelling or redness around the injected area, slight fever and allergic reaction.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
these are minor side effects and last for few days.
Nevertheless
, the benefits outweighs

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
demerits of vaccination.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
perhaps
, More
importantly
it
Did you mean "saves"?
save
those to whom we care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Consider replacing "in a cost-effective way" with the adverb for "cost-effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a cost-effective way
.
Moreover
, the safest way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
any child from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is through vaccination as it
is approved
by food and drug administration (FDA) and
also
, reviewed its safety
regularly
.

In conclusion
, vaccination is a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
child from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
as it
is cost
-effective and safety. I believe, talking vaccination as unnecessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
is risky to their children.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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