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Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime but others feel that little can be done Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime but others feel that little can be done 2
Nowadays, a large proportion of residents choose to stay at home rather than going outside due to their scare of offences that my occur in public. Personally, steps should be carried out within governments' s financial budgets in order to improve the guarantee of citizens' safety. It should be noted that tons of action have been done which have reduced possibilities of crime to some extent. A classic example is the illustration of public surveillance system, form that the police can supervise people' s behaviours in case that they will commit a crime in public. However, the resistance of steping out indicates that there are still deficiencies in existing surveillance systems. For instance, supervision equipment should have been covered a wider range, for the reason that a large amount of public offences are not exposed to such supervised machines, which creates opportunities for criminals to commit a crime. But what should not be neglected is that the occurrence of crime would not be eliminated despite however huge improvements ahve been made in public surveillance system. Besides, the reasons of commiting crimes in public lie in existing and potential criminals' attitudes towards sins. It turns out to be impossible to alter their moral rules regardless of the actions of prevention. Additionally, the governments are responsible for allocating financial funds properly. Should too much funds spent on preventing sins in public, there would be financial defict occuring in other areas, which will result in distressing outcomes. To sum up, it is encouraged to do the deed to prevent public offences from being occurred within financial ability of governments. Only by that can everyone live safe and smooth life.
Nowadays, a large proportion of residents choose to stay at home
rather
than going outside due to their scare of
offences
that my occur in
public
.
Personally
, steps should
be carried
out within
governments&
#039; s
financial
budgets in order to
improve
the guarantee of
citizens&
#039; safety.

It should
be noted
that tons of action have
been done
which have
reduced
possibilities of
crime
to
some
extent. A classic example is the illustration of
public
surveillance system, form that the police can supervise
people&
#039; s
behaviours
in case that they will commit a
crime
in
public
.
However
, the resistance of
steping
out indicates that there are
still
deficiencies in existing surveillance systems.
For instance
, supervision equipment should have
been covered
a wider range, for the reason that a large amount of
public
offences
are not exposed to such supervised machines, which creates opportunities for criminals to commit a crime.

But
what should not
be neglected
is that the occurrence of
crime
would not
be eliminated
despite
however
huge improvements
ahve
been made
in
public
surveillance system.
Besides
, the reasons of
commiting
crimes
in
public
lie in existing and potential
criminals&
#039; attitudes towards sins. It turns out to be impossible to alter their moral
rules
regardless of the actions of prevention.
Additionally
, the
governments
are responsible for allocating
financial
funds
properly
. Should too
much
funds spent on preventing sins in
public
, there would be
financial
defict
occuring
in other areas, which will result in distressing outcomes.

To sum up, it
is encouraged
to do the deed to
prevent
public
offences
from
being occurred
within
financial
ability of
governments
.
Only
by that can everyone
live
safe and smooth life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime but others feel that little can be done 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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