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Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v.5

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v. 5
In the modern life, the agricultural sector has been thriving thanks to the advancement of various factors such as technology or scientific applications. However, it is a bitter fact that hunger, or in a worse scenario, famine, is still overwhelmingly happening worldwide. There remain several reasons for this existing problem and I would like to suggest some viable solutions to the mentioned issue. In the first place, a number of factors could be held responsible for this worrying phenomenon. Firstly, the major culprit is that the inefficiency in terms of food distribution of the national governments. In other words, they might overlook the food shortage in some remote or mountainous areas within the country’s border and at the same time, supplying food unnecessarily abundant to metropolises or urban areas. Hence, many people in far-off places have to suffer from hunger for food or starvation. Another worth mentioning reason is that, although the supply of food is now widely available, a great number of people who belong to the lower-class in society are not in the position to access to these readily existing sources, simply because the price is far too high for them to afford. The income inequality as well as unfair treatment with regards to social status is likely the two underlying factor to be blamed on. On the other hand, there exist several feasible remedies for the growing number of food-lacking people. Urgently, the government should be able to allocate food resources equally and effectively to every corner of their nation to curb the food inadequacy. For example, annually, the Vietnamese national leaders always pay close attention to the lives of ethnic minority by aiding them with rice, meat, vegetable and other essential basic necessities. Furthermore, offering lower food prices towards people who are doing low-paid jobs would also be worth considering. This economic approach would seem to be rational regarding income levels, hence, making these people more access to food supply as well as preventing the food shortage rate from increasing. In conclusion, a number of underlying reasons could be the explanation for the food hunger among people. Nevertheless, these problems could be tackled and overcome by conducting some proper and appropriate measures.
In the modern life, the agricultural sector has been thriving thanks to the advancement of various factors such as technology or scientific applications.
However
, it is a bitter fact that hunger, or in a worse scenario, famine, is
still
overwhelmingly
happening worldwide. There remain several reasons for this existing problem and I would like to suggest
some
viable solutions to the mentioned issue.

In the
first
place, a
number
of factors could
be held
responsible for this worrying phenomenon.
Firstly
, the major culprit is that the inefficiency in terms of
food
distribution of the national
governments
.
In other words
, they might overlook the
food
shortage in
some
remote or mountainous areas within the country’s border and at the same time, supplying
food
unnecessarily
abundant to metropolises or urban areas.
Hence
,
many
people
in far-off places
have to
suffer from hunger for
food
or starvation. Another worth mentioning reason is that, although the supply of
food
is
now
widely
available, a great
number
of
people
who belong to the lower-
class
in society are not in the position to access to these
readily
existing sources,
simply
because
the price is far too high for them to afford. The income inequality
as well
as unfair treatment
with regards to
social status is likely the two underlying factor to
be blamed
on.

On the other hand
, there exist several feasible remedies for the growing
number
of food-lacking
people
.
Urgently
, the
government
should be able to allocate
food
resources
equally
and
effectively
to every corner of their nation to curb the
food
inadequacy.
For example
,
annually
, the Vietnamese national leaders always pay close attention to the
lives
of ethnic minority by aiding them with rice, meat, vegetable and other essential
basic necessities
.
Furthermore
, offering lower
food
prices towards
people
who are doing low-paid jobs would
also
be worth considering. This economic approach would seem to be rational regarding income levels,
hence
, making these
people
more access to
food
supply
as well
as preventing the
food
shortage rate from increasing.

In conclusion
, a
number
of underlying reasons could be the explanation for the
food
hunger among
people
.
Nevertheless
, these problems could
be tackled
and overcome by conducting
some
proper and appropriate measures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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