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Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school some people believe that this has negative development while others think there are some benefits Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school some people believe that this has negative development while others think there are some benefits 2
There is no doubt that consumerism trends have changed a lot. Earlier it used to be local shops that were preferred, but nowadays shopping malls or centres are being preferred which had also led to the closure of local retail shops. I would see it as a positive development. It appears that To embark on, the customers are getting all options under one roof. This leads to easy comparison and decision making for product as per budget with least travelling regarding a product. Moreover, they are much more organized, so least chances of bargaining and excessive pricing by shop owners is negligent. For example, Skybags school bags that were sold at 2000USD by retailers, have become readily available and could be bought at 1000 in malls. Also, more comfortable for customers as they are able to find from groceries to electronics, vegetables to stationery, all under same roof. On the other hand, for shop owners, maintenance of the shops is easier and pressure of local goons is avoidable. This is because from cleaning to safety guards, all are well maintained by contractors and not a job of the individual. They also do not to deal with local politics anymore. Additionally, with the organized system, more and more shops provide us printed bills rather than direct cash payment without bills as in local shops which is also beneficial for government. Furthermore, Authorities can collect taxes in the malls easily. This is because they have a central committee to look after these matters. To conclude, the shopping centres are advantageous not only for customers to buy products, but also for shop owners and authorities for more efficient system.
There is no doubt that consumerism trends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot. Earlier it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
that
were preferred
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays shopping malls or
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
being preferred
which had
also
led to the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. It appears
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


To embark on, the customers are getting all options under one roof. This leads to easy comparison and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
for product as per budget with least travelling regarding a product.
Moreover
, they are much more organized,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
chances of bargaining and excessive pricing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners is negligent.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Skybags
school bags that
were sold
at 2000USD by retailers, have become
readily
available and could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
at 1000 in malls.
Also
, more comfortable for customers as they are able to find from groceries to electronics, vegetables to stationery, all under same roof.

On the other hand
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners, maintenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is easier and pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
goons is avoidable. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from cleaning to safety guards, all are well maintained by contractors and not a job of the individual. They
also
do not to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
politics anymore.
Additionally
, with the organized system, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
provide us printed bills
rather
than direct cash payment without bills as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which is
also
beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Furthermore
, Authorities can collect taxes in the malls
easily
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a central committee to look after these matters.

To conclude
, the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are advantageous not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners and authorities for more efficient system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school some people believe that this has negative development while others think there are some benefits 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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