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many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access for software Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvanages? v.1

many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access for software Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvanages? v. 1
A huge number of people are tending to share their personal information with IT companies in order to get permission to use software applications. This essay will argue that though there is a risk of misusage of personal details, the benefit of efficient personal management by using such tools far outweighs any drawback. Software companies can easily sell the collected data from their subscribers to other companies. Subscribers are asked to provide their phone number, e-mail ID and other personal details before providing access to those applications. Many times such information is sold out to other organizations. Utility software's users start receiving promotional calls for the products in which they have not shown any interest. For example, a study conducted in 2019 by the telecom authority of India revealed that 65% of people received promotional phone calls after downloading Facebook. However, such annoying calls can be restricted by activating DND. Usage of utility tools is a great help to manage daily activities in an efficient way. People download such applications to manage their workout schedule, official meetings and many more activities. Computers and mobiles are very handy and convenient to use instead of conventional books and notepads. Reminders and alarm tools are a great help to execute schedule work on time. People get reminders for their scheduled activities, payment of utility bills and monthly instalments. For instance, A report published by Times magazines in 2019 found that 95% of people attended official meetings on time using remind tool in Android phones. This show that uses of such technology is very worthwhile and eclipse any fear about the misuse of personal data. In conclusion, the importance of software applications in day to day life far outweighs the supposed selling of private details of users to the other firms for promotional campaigns.
A huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tending to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information with IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
. This essay will argue that though there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
misusage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the benefit of efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
management by using such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
far outweighs any drawback.

Software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
easily
sell the collected data from their subscribers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Subscribers
are asked
to provide their phone number, e-mail ID and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
providing access to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
such information
is sold
out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
organizations. Utility software's users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
receiving promotional calls for the products in which they have not shown any interest.
For example
, a study conducted in 2019 by the telecom authority of India revealed that 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
received promotional phone calls after downloading Facebook.
However
, such annoying calls can
be restricted
by activating DND.

Usage of utility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to manage daily activities
Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient way
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
download such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
to manage their workout schedule, official meetings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more activities. Computers and mobiles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy and convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instead
of conventional books and notepads. Reminders and alarm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
are a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to execute schedule work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reminders for their scheduled activities, payment of utility bills and monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
.
For instance
, A report published by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
magazines in 2019 found that 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attended official meetings on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
in Android phones. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of such technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
worthwhile and eclipse any fear about the misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data.

In conclusion
, the importance of software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
in day to day life far outweighs the supposed selling of private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of users to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
firms for promotional campaigns.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access for software Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvanages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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