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Most people can solve important problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families. Help from the government is unnecessary. v.1

Most people can solve important problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families. Help from the government is unnecessary. v. 1
It is argued by people that computers are the most prominent man-made creation of the past decade. Despite having other important breakthroughs, I completely agree with this statement as computers have shaped the way we live nowadays and I believe their effect is far deeper than any other invention. Computers have an indispensable role in our lives today. They have changed the way humans live and have made our lives so much easier. Firstly, the development of computers made communication much easier for everyone. People nowadays do not have to wait weeks or even months to communicate with their loved ones, instead, they can send and receive messages in seconds. Secondly, many people were lost in the past when traveling from one place to another before technology, however, nowadays people can go anywhere using their computers or smartphones with the help of Google Maps. Finally, computers have made education was made easier and more efficient. Students in the past few decades had to visit multiple libraries and waste a lot of time to find a book they wanted. Today, they can either download books or purchase them online, therefore, saving a lot of time and effort. Furthermore, anyone in any country with an internet connection can access thousands of online courses and learn whatever they want. For instance, people in poor countries can take free online courses and read books as long as they have a computer and an internet connection. In conclusion, it is hard to think of any area of our lives that computers and technology have not changed. It is true that there are various inventions in the past decade that were noteworthy, yet the impact of computers remains the greatest, thus, in my opinion, it is the most essential device humans have ever made.
It
is argued
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that computers are the most prominent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made creation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
decade. Despite having other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
breakthroughs, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as computers have shaped the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
nowadays and I believe their effect is far deeper than any other invention.

Computers have an indispensable role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and have made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much easier.
Firstly
, the development of computers made communication much easier for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait weeks or even months to communicate with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones,
instead
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and receive messages in seconds.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were lost
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
when traveling from one place to another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
technology,
however
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go anywhere using their computers or smartphones with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of Google Maps.

Finally
, computers have made education
was made
easier and more efficient. Students in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
few decades had to visit multiple libraries and waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to find a book they wanted.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, they can either download books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them online,
therefore
, saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and effort.
Furthermore
, anyone in any country with an internet connection can access thousands of online courses and learn whatever they want.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poor countries can take free online courses and read books as long as they have a computer and an internet connection.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of any area of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
that computers and technology have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. It is true that there are various inventions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
decade that were noteworthy,
yet
the impact of computers remains the greatest,
thus
, in my opinion, it is the most essential device humans have ever made.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Most people can solve important problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families. Help from the government is unnecessary. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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