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At the end of the Triassic period 200 million years ago, there was a mass-extinction event that caused the extinction of more than half of all living species. It was this extinction event that allowed dinosaurs to become the dominant species for the next v.1

At the end of the Triassic period 200 million years ago, there was a mass-extinction event that caused the extinction of more than half of all living species. It was this extinction event that allowed dinosaurs to become the dominant species for the next v. 1
Defending and assuring the safety of its citizens is the prime responsibility of any government. Therefore, many people believe that the state needs to focus more on defence expenditure than on social benefits. In my opinion, although spending on defence is imperative, citizens should not be deprived of the benefits of social schemes which are equally important for the people. Protecting its people at all times from external aggression is paramount to the sovereignty of any state. In other words, attempts by neighbouring countries or terrorist organisations to attack the security forces or civilians can cause huge loss to public life and damage to property. This can be because of certain unsettled border disputes or political activism against democratic ideologies or any other geopolitical tensions caused by terrorism activities. For instance, the separatist movement backed by Pakistan in the Indian region of Kashmir has caused tremendous irreparable damage to public property and claimed thousands of innocent lives in the last 20 years. As a result, government has to deploy a large number of military personnel in these border areas at the cost of billions of dollars. By contrast, if there was peace on all borders, the government can allocate sufficient funds for social schemes. However, the government should refrain from going overboard and ensure that excessive defence spending is not at the cost of social spending. That is to say, citizens, especially from the poor and lower-income class depend largely on assistance from the state in areas of healthcare and education. The government needs to subsidise these activities for the upliftment of the weaker sections of the society. This is vital to narrow the inequality gap between the rich and the poor in the society. This is also equally as important as defence budget because ignoring the people from the lowest strata of society can cause imbalance and chaos in the country due to the stark inequality in people’s living standards. For overall development of the nation, it is the administration’s duty to provide the social benefits to the poorest of the poor. For example, the recent PAHAL scheme by the central government in India to distribute free LPG connections to the poorest in villages has yielded favourable results by helping them use clean cooking gas. In conclusion, I believe that defence spending to thwart the aggression of unfriendly neighbours is as important as providing assistance to poor citizens through various social benefit schemes.
Defending and assuring the safety of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
is the prime responsibility of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the state needs to focus more on
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
expenditure than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
is imperative,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
should not
be deprived
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
schemes which are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Protecting its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at all times from external aggression is paramount to the sovereignty of any state.
In other words
, attempts by
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries or terrorist
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to attack the security forces or civilians can cause huge loss to public life and damage to property. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain unsettled border disputes or political activism against democratic ideologies or any other geopolitical tensions caused by terrorism activities.
For instance
, the separatist movement backed by Pakistan in the Indian region of Kashmir has caused tremendous irreparable damage to public property and claimed thousands of innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the last 20 years.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deploy
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
military personnel in these border areas at the cost of billions of dollars. By contrast, if there was peace on all borders, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can allocate sufficient funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
schemes.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should refrain from going overboard and ensure that excessive
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
is not at the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
,
especially
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and lower-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
depend
largely
on assistance from the state in areas of healthcare and education. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
these activities for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of the weaker sections of the society. This is vital to narrow the inequality gap between the rich and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
in the society. This is
also
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ignoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the lowest strata of society can cause imbalance and chaos in the country due to the stark inequality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living standards. For
overall
development of the nation, it is the administration’s duty to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the poorest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
For example
, the recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
PAHAL
scheme by the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in India to distribute free LPG connections to the poorest in villages has yielded
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
results by helping them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
clean cooking gas.

In conclusion
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
to thwart the aggression of
unfriendly
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as providing assistance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
through various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
schemes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay At the end of the Triassic period 200 million years ago, there was a mass-extinction event that caused the extinction of more than half of all living species. It was this extinction event that allowed dinosaurs to become the dominant species for the next v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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