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Many people are choosing to find information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v.5

Many people are choosing to find information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v. 5
In the era of modernisation, people have several options for different purposes ranging from clothes to food. Some school of thought suggests that these days, individuals have various choices regarding everything. I strongly agree that today humans have an endless number of things from which they can prefer as per their likes and dislikes. Firstly, the clothes had been available in bulk as well as in a variety of brands, and designs. Human civilizations have transformed the lifestyle of mankind, which has enhanced their living standard. Also, clothes play an essential role in human's lives that improve their personality. For instance, a researcher has conducted a survey in which he reported that people choose their attire for different occasion due to multiple choices. Therefore, having too many options makes life easy and convenient. Secondly, eating food varies on a person's taste as they are distinct type of foods available in the markets from local to foreign ones. In case, if someone gets monotonous by having the same meal on a daily basis, then he/ she will have an option to eat other dishes from another country or region to change their intake of food. In contrary, there are some restrictions on the number of choices, which people have in their lives as somewhere it lacks due to some extent such as till now there is no treatment for some medical problems, then how can we say that we have several options these days when they are just limited to some things. To conclude, it is generally said that nowadays, people have many options in terms of various aspects. Folks, do have choices to make but they are limited to some extent till now, and hopefully they should not be there in the future.
In the era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes ranging from clothes to food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
suggests that these days, individuals have various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
regarding everything. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
humans have an endless number of things from which they can prefer as per their likes and dislikes.

Firstly
, the clothes had been available in bulk
as well
as in a variety of brands, and designs. Human civilizations have transformed the lifestyle of mankind, which has enhanced their living standard.
Also
, clothes play an essential role in human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality.
For instance
, a researcher has conducted a survey in which he reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their attire for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasion due to multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
Therefore
, having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easy and convenient.

Secondly
, eating food varies on a person's taste as they are distinct type of foods available in the markets from local to foreign ones. In case, if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
monotonous by having the same meal on a daily basis, then he/ she will have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to eat other dishes from another country or region to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their intake of food.

In contrary, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as somewhere it lacks due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent such as till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is no treatment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical problems, then how can we say that we have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
these days when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
limited to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things.

To conclude
, it is
generally
said that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
in terms of various aspects. Folks, do have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are limited
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
hopefully
they should not be there in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Many people are choosing to find information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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