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What does the expression " good things come to those who wait" mean to you, and how did see that in your life? Use examples to illustrate your response. v.1

What does the expression " good things come to those who wait" mean to you, and how did see that in your life? Use examples to illustrate your response. v. 1
Nowadays, the use computers in the field of education to teach students is increasing dramatically. Although, there are plenty of pros people can't deny it's drawbacks that I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. Education through digital computers has numerous advantages that provide benefits to students as well as other individuals. Primarily, learning through PowerPoint consists images, video's, graphics which can provide an assistance to students learn more practicable. These learning aids do not include in lecture method from books. Students can learn more conveniently with the use of projectors guided by computer slides. Additionally, Central processing units can provide an infinite source of data which generates through the internet. Since books have limited information but educational web sites can provide lots of usable information to youngsters to boost their academic knowledge. On the contrary, if there are pros of smart education there are also some cons of it. Firstly, the excessive use of computers can negatively affect human eyes because of high strain. Most of the youngsters are affected by various eye diseases such as myopia, amblyopia only because of computer based learning. Finally, technology enhanced academic dishonesty. In other words, some students misused the laptops and spoil their time by playing games, watching porn sites, using social media sites instead of doing their assignments. It directly affects their academic results during their exams. To conclude, undoubtedly, Analog computer education has brought revolution in the society. With the help of this teaching becomes like a piece of cake. Nevertheless, people should monitor their children while doing their homework to avoid misuse of computers.
Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers in the field of education to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is increasing
dramatically
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of pros
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't deny
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
drawbacks that I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

Education through digital computers has numerous advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
as other individuals.
Primarily
, learning through PowerPoint consists images, video's, graphics which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
an assistance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn more practicable. These learning aids do not include in lecture method from books.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can learn more
conveniently
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of projectors guided by computer slides.
Additionally
, Central processing units can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
an infinite source of data which generates through the internet. Since books have limited information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
educational
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
lots of usable information to youngsters to boost their academic knowledge.

On the contrary
, if there are pros of smart education there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons of it.
Firstly
, the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers can
negatively
affect human eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high strain. Most of the youngsters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by various eye diseases such as myopia,
Possible spelling mistake found.
amblyopia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of computer based learning.
Finally
, technology enhanced academic dishonesty.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
misused the laptops and spoil their time by playing games, watching porn sites, using social media sites
instead
of doing their assignments. It
directly
affects their academic results during their exams.

To conclude
,
undoubtedly
, Analog computer education has brought revolution in the society. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this teaching becomes like a piece of cake.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should monitor their children while doing their homework to avoid misuse of computers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What does the expression " good things come to those who wait" mean to you, and how did see that in your life? Use examples to illustrate your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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