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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When classmates or colleagues communicate about a project in person instead of by e-mail, they will produce better work for the project. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.354

When classmates or colleagues communicate about a project in person instead of by e-mail, they will produce better work for the project. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 354
It is undeniable that youngsters are moving to urban cities whether to work or learn. While some people believe that they should not do such action, I would argue that if these youngsters are looking for a job satisfaction or a better salary, they should leave their areas. On the one hand, those who believe that youth should stay in their areas might see it difficult for them to leave. The reason with the fact that they believe these youngsters should stay in their areas to help the locals in agriculture, as these regions have wide fields which are often suitable for planting and harvesting the crops. For instance, the US officials had recently announced that the population of rural regions in the state of Indiana in the United States had plummeted due to youth’s moving from rural to urban areas. In contrast, if these people did not make this move, the population number would not decrease, and therefore they would still assist their peers in growing the plants. On the other hand, in my view, youth should take the responsibilities to move to the city if they are seeking a flourish lifestyle. The reason behind this is that the vast majority of modern cities in the developed countries have better wages than that in the countryside zones. To illustrate, the employment rate in Toronto city in Canada is considered as the highest in the world. For this reason, young people are trying their best whether starting a job or to earn a higher degree in order to be hired in the labour market. To conclude, although some people will find it complicated for youth to leave the countryside regions, I believe that it will be better for them to move to urban cities so that they will have better jobs and better education at some point.
It is undeniable that youngsters are moving to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
whether to work or learn. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they should not do such action, I would argue that if these youngsters are looking for a job satisfaction or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
salary, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their areas.

On the one hand, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should stay in their areas might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. The reason with the fact that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these youngsters should stay in their areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the locals in agriculture, as these regions have wide fields which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suitable for planting and harvesting the crops.
For instance
, the US officials had recently announced that the population of rural regions in the state of Indiana in the United States had plummeted due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth’s
moving from rural to urban areas.
In contrast
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, the population number would not decrease, and
therefore
they would
still
assist their peers in growing the plants.

On the other hand
, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should take the responsibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the city if they are seeking a flourish lifestyle. The reason behind this is that the vast majority of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
wages than that in the countryside zones. To illustrate, the employment rate in Toronto city in Canada
is considered
as the highest in the world.
For this reason
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying their best whether starting a job or to earn a higher degree in order to
be hired
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it complicated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the countryside regions, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay When classmates or colleagues communicate about a project in person instead of by e-mail, they will produce better work for the project. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 354

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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