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Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v.2

Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v. 2
Teaching children to differentiate between the right and the wrong is an important and critical job for parents. There is one school of thought that believes that children can learn to distinguish between good and bad when they are subjected to punishment. From my point of view, punishment is one of the several methods, which will allow young brains to understand the difference between the positive and negative aspects of any action. The human, by nature, performs efficiently and learn better when they are subjected to the sense of fear, rewards or greed. When it comes to children, they do behave and act better under the condition of getting punished, in case a wrong thing is done. Punishment without actually beating can be practised under certain scenarios, where the objective is to make young ones learn a lesson and develop cognitive abilities. Punishment can be in different forms, for instance stopping pocket money of children for a couple of days, reducing playtime of children and not buying them gifts or toys are also effective punishment. On the other hand, the notion of rewards and appreciation can also make young ones become better decision makers. Research show that kids take smart decisions when they are in a competition and expect a reward at the end of that. School going kids are often subject to beating in some parts of the world and this is definitely not the advised way to deal with young pupils. Teachers, who are considered as eternal parents, make use of sticks and sometimes hands to physically punish students. This situation creates negative impacts on children and they lose confidence, feel insecure, and they become shy. Contrary to this, if the same students are handled in a more balanced way by following the rule of carrot and stick, that will bring desired results, children will acquire abilities to choose between what is beneficial for them and what is not. To conclude, it is evident from above discussion that punishment is one of the tools to make young ones learn and adapt skills of differentiating between right or wrong. But, there are other ways which are even more effective to achieve the same objective.
Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to differentiate between the right and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and critical job for parents. There is one school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
when they
are subjected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is one of the several methods, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
brains to understand the difference between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of any action.

The human, by nature, performs
efficiently
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
better when they
are subjected
to the sense of fear, rewards or greed. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they do behave and act better under the condition of getting punished, in case a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thing
is done
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
without actually beating can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
under certain scenarios, where the objective is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lesson and develop cognitive abilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
can be in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms,
for instance
stopping pocket money of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for a couple of days, reducing playtime of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and not buying them gifts or toys are
also
effective punishment.

On the other hand
, the notion of rewards and appreciation can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
become better decision makers. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that kids take smart decisions when they are in a competition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a reward at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of that. School going kids are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
subject to beating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world and this is definitely not the advised way to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pupils. Teachers, who
are considered
as eternal parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of sticks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
hands to
physically
punish students. This situation creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they lose confidence, feel insecure, and they become shy. Contrary to this, if the same students
are handled
in a more balanced way by following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of carrot and stick, that will bring desired results,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will acquire abilities to choose between what is beneficial for them and what is not.

To conclude
, it is evident from above discussion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is one of the tools to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and adapt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of differentiating between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are other ways which are even more effective to achieve the same objective.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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