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Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v.1

Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v. 1
Parenting is a very difficult challenge all around the world. Most of the parents consider punishment a better teaching method instead of listening and communicating with the children. However, to my mind, anything excess is bad. It I not deniable that the punishment is one of the easiest ways to teach children good or bad but it should not be the only way of teaching. To start with, children are very sensitive, want love and care. They need their parents’ support and encouragement in every aspect of their life. So, it is considered by most of the psychologists that by giving harsh punishments too often parents are making their children prone to violence. Hence, it is now proven by social researchers that children learn less from punishments, becomes shy and insecure and it may affect their social behaviour. However, it is deniable that children are naturally advantageous and curious about everything. Some are stubborn and need to deal differently. For such children, parents and teachers should adopt a strict but no-torture behaviour. It could include numerous methods such as scolding, taking their favourite belonging for a couple of days or limiting their leisure time. In addition, cancelling their pocket money for a month or cancel a weekend outing plan could be a better option rather than locking them alone in a dark room. In conclusion, I surely believe that minor punishments could teach children the difference between right and wrong, however, the consequences could be different for every individual child. I suggest that there should be a proper and balanced communication of parents and teachers with the children.
Parenting is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult challenge all around the world. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
a better teaching method
instead
of listening and communicating with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, to my mind, anything excess is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. It I not deniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is one of the easiest ways to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of teaching.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive, want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care. They need their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
support and encouragement in every aspect of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
is considered
by most of the psychologists that by giving harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prone to violence.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
proven by social researchers that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn less from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, becomes shy and insecure and it may affect their social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

However
, it is deniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
naturally
advantageous and curious about everything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are stubborn and need to deal
differently
. For such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should adopt a strict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no-torture
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. It could include numerous methods such as scolding, taking their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
belonging for a couple of days or limiting their leisure time.
In addition
, cancelling their pocket money for a month or cancel a weekend outing plan could be a better option
rather
than locking them alone in a dark room.

In conclusion
, I
surely
believe that minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
could teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
however
, the consequences could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for every individual child. I suggest that there should be a proper and balanced communication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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