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Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant v.3

Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? 3
Every parent wants their child to be highly educated to prepare them to survive in this competitive world, for which, they sometimes involuntarily send off kids to extra classes after school or even on the weekends. In my opinion, there is no need to do so, as the children have already had their fair share of education during school time. Normally, school time lasts for an average of seven hours in a day. It is physically and mentally extremely challenging for young students to accommodate more studying time in their daily schedule, than their school has already taken up. The daily productivity of a human brain is limited and therefore pushing beyond its limits will not yield anything useful. The homework given to pupils also requires an ample amount to time to be completed which helps in strengthening of the topics covered in school, rendering the need for extra tuition superfluous. The time after school can be utilized in several other ways which can help in the overall development of the child. The habit of exercising in spare time and weekends promotes healthy lifestyle among kids. Parents should also motivate their child to do creative things such as art and craft or allow time to develop their hobbies like swimming, boxing or learning to play a musical instrument into a skill. Allowing the children to play their favorite sport after school also helps them by teaching them to communicate with others, engage in team work along with building a healthy and strong body. So, to conclude, I strongly believe that instead of putting excessive efforts to improve the studying capabilities of a child, their parents should focus on achieving all-round development of their ward.
Every parent wants their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to be
highly
educated to prepare them to survive in this competitive world, for which, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
involuntarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
off kids to extra classes after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or even on the weekends. In my opinion, there is no need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, as the children have already had their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of education during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time.

Normally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
lasts for an average of seven hours in a day. It is
physically
and mentally
extremely
challenging for young students to accommodate more studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their daily schedule, than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has already taken up. The daily productivity of a human brain
is limited
and
therefore
pushing beyond its limits will not yield anything useful. The homework
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to pupils
also
requires an ample amount to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
be completed
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in strengthening of the topics covered in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, rendering the need for extra tuition superfluous.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
be utilized
in several other ways which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the
overall
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
habit of exercising in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and weekends promotes healthy lifestyle among kids. Parents should
also
motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to do creative things such as art and craft or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to develop their hobbies like swimming, boxing or learning to play a musical instrument into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Allowing the children to play their favorite sport after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them by teaching them to communicate with others, engage in team work along with building a healthy and strong body.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
to conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
instead
of putting excessive efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the studying capabilities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, their parents should focus on achieving all-round development of their ward.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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