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Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant e v.2

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school 2
Nowadays, an increasing number of parents have a tendency to send their children to extra classes after school or even at weekends. They believe that it is essential to do so, however, I completely disagree with this point of view. I think children have been provided sufficient knowledge at school. Admittedly, many parents want their children to gain more knowledge. They, therefore, either hire private tutors or send their children to study centers in the evenings. Nonetheless, it is unnecessary because children have already learnt enough during a school-day. Teachers, also, provide homework in order for them to review what were taught at home. After 8 hours studying at school, all students must have been tired and need to relax rather than continue other studies. In other words, if students learn in fatigue condition, the parents waste not only their money but also their children’s time and health. In addition, children should be encouraged to experience different things at that time. Spending time on hobbies enables students to develop their creativity as well as other social skills, such as communication, solving problems skills which have significant impacts on their career paths. Besides, they can use the spare time to do some exercises for better health. Swimming at the weekends, for example, helps to strengthen their endurance and keep their bodies in good shapes. Moreover, children can support their parents with the choirs, and by doing this, they are capable of improving their sense of responsibilities. In conclusion, although many people argue that it is worthwhile to organize extra classes for their children after a school-day or at the weekends, I believe that the children have adequate education at school and they are in need of relaxation or hobby to develop themselves.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
parents
have a tendency to
send
their
children
to extra classes after school or even at weekends. They believe that it is essential to do
so
,
however
, I completely disagree with this point of view. I
think
children
have
been provided
sufficient knowledge at school.

Admittedly
,
many
parents
want their
children
to gain more knowledge. They,
therefore
, either hire private tutors or
send
their
children
to study centers in the evenings. Nonetheless, it is unnecessary
because
children
have already
learnt
enough
during a school-day. Teachers,
also
, provide homework in order for them to review what
were taught
at home. After 8 hours studying at school, all students
must
have
been tired
and need to relax
rather
than continue other studies.
In other words
, if students learn in fatigue condition, the
parents
waste not
only
their money
but
also
their
children’s
time
and health.

In addition
,
children
should
be encouraged
to experience
different
things at that
time
. Spending
time
on hobbies enables students to develop their creativity
as well
as other social
skills
, such as communication, solving problems
skills
which have significant impacts on their career paths.
Besides
, they can
use
the spare
time
to do
some
exercises for better health. Swimming at the weekends,
for example
,
helps
to strengthen their endurance and
keep
their bodies in
good
shapes.
Moreover
,
children
can support their
parents
with the choirs, and by doing this, they are capable of improving their sense of responsibilities.

In conclusion
, although
many
people
argue that it is worthwhile to organize extra classes for their
children
after a school-day or at the weekends, I believe that the
children
have adequate education at
school and
they are in need of relaxation or hobby to develop themselves.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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