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Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? v. 1
Nowadays, the fact that children take extra lessons outside the curriculum is getting more and more popular in many countries, especially in Asia, and lots of parents argue that it is necessary to do. From my perspective, students should be encouraged to have more time to develop their soft skills instead of taking more academic lessons. In my view, going to cram schools is unnecessary as learners are educated enough at school. To illustrate, school-goers have to study a wide range of subjects, and these subjects provide them with adequate academic background. Thus, students do have opportunities to practice knowledge through homework tasks. For instance, after listening to chemistry lessons at school, home assignment offers students a chance to reinforce their knowledge. I believe that by combining the methods taught by educators during school hours and doing homework at home, children are academically educated enough. Meanwhile, I support the idea of taking extra classes for skill enhancement. School hours might be not enough for students to develop all-round skills but only allow them to improve intellectual level. In order to fully develop, it is recommended that children be organized to take soft skill lessons. For example, after school or at the weekend, kids can be sent to piano classes instead of an additional mathematics class. I hold the belief that parents should let their children have more time to develop other skills rather than only focusing on academic development. In conclusion, I believe that children might be able to have adequate knowledge during school hours but should be encouraged to have soft skills training courses.
Nowadays, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take extra lessons outside the curriculum is getting more and more popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
in Asia, and lots of parents argue that it is necessary to do. From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be encouraged
to have more time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
their soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
instead
of taking more academic lessons.

In my view, going to cram
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is unnecessary as learners
are educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To illustrate, school-goers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study a wide range of subjects, and these subjects provide them with adequate academic background.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do have opportunities to practice knowledge through homework tasks.
For instance
, after listening to chemistry lessons at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, home assignment offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a chance to reinforce their knowledge. I believe that by combining the methods taught by educators during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours and doing homework at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
academically
educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Meanwhile, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking extra classes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
enhancement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
hours might be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
all-round
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
intellectual level. In order to
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
, it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be organized
to take soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
lessons.
For example
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or at the weekend, kids can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to piano classes
instead
of an additional mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I hold the belief that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on academic development.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be able to have adequate knowledge during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should
be encouraged
to have soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
training courses.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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