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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others however, believe that the school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others however, believe that the school is the place to learn this. v. 1
In the world today, the importance of learning good character early in life cannot be overemphasized. Although some individuals are of the opinion that this should be taught in schools, I believe that it is the role of the parents to guide their offspring on how to be upright members of the society. Firstly, children spend most of their time with their parents which is an opportunity for them to instill good manners in these children. A child tends to act and behave according to what is seen or heard often. For example, a young one whose parents use words like “please” and “ thank you” often learns the importance of courtesy early in life. Also, some children don’t start school early or don’t even get to go to school at all, if being honorable members of the society is left to be taught in schools, then these children won’t have the opportunity to learn. Meanwhile, people who believe that etiquette should be taught in schools argue that once a child goes to school, they are exposed to a wider community and therefore needs the influence of their teachers and peers to contribute positively to the society. For instance, it is compulsory in some schools to participate in unpaid community work which helps to reinforce good manners. In conclusion, it is important for parents to teach their children how to be responsible and good members of the society as it is said that charity begins at home and these should also be reinforced in schools by teachers and peers.
In the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the importance of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
character early in life cannot
be overemphasized
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are of the opinion that this should
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I believe that it is the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to guide their offspring on how to be upright members of the society.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which is an opportunity for them to instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. A child tends to act and behave according to what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
or heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
For example
, a young one whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
words like “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
” and
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
thank you”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
learns the importance of courtesy early in life.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early or don’t even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at all, if being honorable members of the society is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, then these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
won’t have the opportunity to learn.

Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that etiquette should
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
argue that once a child goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they
are exposed
to a wider community and
therefore
needs the influence of their teachers and peers to contribute
positively
to the society.
For instance
, it is compulsory in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to participate in unpaid community work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to reinforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be responsible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of the society as it
is said
that charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
at home and these should
also
be reinforced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
by teachers and peers.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others however, believe that the school is the place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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