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Many parents send their children to a language center to learn a foreign language such as English as early as they are 5 or 6 years old. It is believed that they both enjoy some benefits and face some problems as well. Do you think the advantages outweigh v.2

Many parents send their children to a language center to learn a foreign language such as English as early as they are 5 or 6 years old. It is believed that they both enjoy some benefits and face some problems as well. Do you think the advantages outweigh v. 2
It can be difficult to raise a bilingual child, but the benefits of learning a second language at an early age are certainly worth the struggle. Bilingual children learn faster and easier, have improved problem solving skills and creativity, and have more career opportunities in adulthood. They also find it easier to connect with other cultures which makes them more open-minded and tolerant of diversity, and they are less likely to experience age-related mental illness as they reach old age. Most importantly, it’s much easier to learn a second language at an early age. In addition, learning a second language isn’t as difficult as it used to be. Scientists are constantly studying second language acquisition and developing new methodologies to help kids learn faster. And, the rising demand of language programs has created a whole new market of international summer camps with language classes where kids can enjoy their favorite activities and learn a new language at the same time. Check out these international camps:
It can be difficult to raise a bilingual child,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits of learning a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an early age are
certainly
worth the struggle.

Bilingual children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
faster and easier, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and creativity, and have more career opportunities in adulthood. They
also
find it easier to connect with other cultures which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more open-minded and tolerant of diversity, and they are less likely to experience age-related mental illness as they reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age. Most
importantly
, it’s much easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an early age.

In addition
, learning a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
isn’t as difficult as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. Scientists are
constantly
studying second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
acquisition and developing new methodologies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
faster. And, the rising demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
programs has created a whole new market of international summer camps with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
classes where kids can enjoy their favorite activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the same time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Check
out these international camps:
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents send their children to a language center to learn a foreign language such as English as early as they are 5 or 6 years old. It is believed that they both enjoy some benefits and face some problems as well. Do you think the advantages outweigh v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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