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Many believe that modern technology has given us more leisure time than before while others say the opposite discuss both views and then give your own opinion. v.2

Many believe that modern technology has given us more leisure time than before while others say the opposite v. 2
Modern technology plays a vital role in people' s spare time. Many believe that advanced technology gives us more free time than ever before. On the flip side, some say people' s leisure time has been shrinking as a result of the tremendous advancing technology. The present essay seeks to discuss that the advantages of modern technology outweigh its disadvantages. It is often suggested that modern technology brings us more free time for two main reasons. For one thing, modern kitchen appliances allow us to program them and decrease the time that we used to spend in our kitchen before. For instance, just like commercials on television and advertisements in magazines, new solar ovens can cook many recipes better and faster than before. Another thing is that new vehicle allows humans to travel faster and safer. As an illustration, today people can teleport from one part of the world to another part in just a few hours. Although much of modern technology in our everyday lives has only positive effects, some uses bring controversial issues and questions. In the first place, millions of people listen to the news by their cellphones to keep abreast of the latest news about national and international events. An example may help clarify the point. In many developed countries, employers do not allow to use their cellphones during work time. In the second place, smartphones which have numerous interesting applications on it waste children' s time inside and outside of school much more than we think they do. As things stand right now, modern technology may put the integrity of the family at risk. By comparing and contrasting the positive and negative aspects of the influence of modern technology on our leisure time, I believe that its upside is significantly more crucial than its downside. To support my position, I would like to offer two primary arguments. Firstly, Doctor Steven, the well-versed head of the medical department of Sidney University, asserts that unarguably, improvement in people' s living standards owes much to modern technology which entails too much free time and relaxes minds. Phones and emails bring us the opportunity of communicating with our friends and relatives who live in different parts of the globe instead of waiting weeks to receive a letter from them. Secondly, as has been frequently demonstrated, modern technology brings us a door to a new world, and we need to learn ways of using it in the best way. In other words, we need to take the initiative and begin to make an about-face in better use of the spare time which modern technology brings to us. Based on the above, it can be stated that modern technology brings us more leisure time than ever before. Nevertheless, the question is: Can advance technology improve the health and happiness of human beings in general? Only time will tell, but in the meantime, science and technology continue to influence every aspect of our modern lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gives us more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has been shrinking
as a result
of the tremendous advancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The present essay seeks to discuss that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outweigh its disadvantages.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
us more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for two main reasons. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
kitchen appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to program them and decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend in our kitchen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like commercials on television and advertisements in magazines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
solar ovens can cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recipes better and faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. Another thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
humans to travel faster and safer. As an illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can teleport from one part of the world to another part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few hours.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
controversial issues and questions. In the
first
place, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
by their cellphones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about national and international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. An example may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
clarify the point. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, employers do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cellphones during work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In the second place, smartphones which have numerous interesting applications on it waste
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
inside and outside of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they do. As things stand right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may put the integrity of the family at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

By comparing and contrasting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on our leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I believe that its upside is
significantly
more crucial than its downside. To support my position, I would like to offer two primary arguments.
Firstly
, Doctor Steven, the well-versed head of the medical department of Sidney University, asserts that
unarguably
, improvement in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s living standards owes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which entails too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and relaxes minds. Phones and emails
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
us the opportunity of communicating with our friends and relatives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the globe
instead
of waiting weeks to receive a letter from them.
Secondly
, as has been
frequently
demonstrated,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
us a door to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world, and we need to learn ways of using it in the best way.
In other words
, we need to take the initiative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an about-face in better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
to us.

Based on the above, it can
be stated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
us more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
Nevertheless
, the question is: Can advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health and happiness of human beings
in general
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the meantime, science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
continue to influence every aspect of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many believe that modern technology has given us more leisure time than before while others say the opposite v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
493 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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