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Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Nowadays, with the tremendous impact of modernisation, many adolescents leave home right after turning eighteen. On the one hand, some of them are encouraged by their parents, but on the other hand, some of them are not. Latter mention the family as the main reason to stay at home. In their opinion, the familiar life is a kind of a sanctuary and while leaving home, it will get lost. The outlook of this sanctuary can differ by each family. For the one family, dining together belongs to this, whereas another family loves it to play a game or just talk about the past day. Furthermore, leaving the families home is always connected with extra costs and especially families, that do not have such a huge financial background cannot afford extra rent or even the furniture for a new apartment. However, some parents want their children to leave home. According to their opinion, living alone is a huge step forward an independent and self-determined life. Mostly, they mention their own adolescent as an example and argue, that, for instance, no one will recognize how late you will return after a party or why you wear the same clothes as the last three days before. Moreover, it is a part of the natural circle of life and by leaving home early, their children have the chance to discover the world on their own. To sum up, both sides offer comprehensible and reasonable causes, and, in the end, every family must decide what will suit them best. Nevertheless, I believe that, by leaving home early, several beneficial things will occur, such as an increase in self-esteem and a more independent and self-esteem life. Furthermore, as a grown-up, you do not want your parents to know everything about your life and keeping secrets is easier by living apart from each other.
Nowadays, with the tremendous impact of
modernisation
,
many
adolescents
leave
home right after turning eighteen. On the one hand,
some
of them
are encouraged
by their parents,
but
on the other hand
,
some
of them are not.

Latter
mention
the
family
as the main reason to stay at home. In their opinion, the familiar
life
is a
kind of a
sanctuary and while leaving home, it will
get
lost. The outlook of this sanctuary can differ by each
family
. For the one
family
, dining together belongs to this, whereas another
family
loves
it to play a game or
just
talk about the past day.
Furthermore
, leaving the
families
home is always connected with extra costs and
especially
families
, that do not have such a huge financial background cannot afford extra rent or even the furniture for a new apartment.

However
,
some
parents want their children to
leave
home. According to their opinion, living alone is a huge step forward an independent and self-determined
life
.
Mostly
, they mention their
own
adolescent as an example and argue, that,
for instance
, no one will recognize how late you will return after a party or why you wear the same clothes as the last three days
before
.
Moreover
, it is a part of the natural circle of
life
and by leaving home early, their children have the chance to discover the world on their
own
.

To sum up, both sides offer comprehensible and reasonable causes, and, in the
end
, every
family
must
decide what will suit them best.
Nevertheless
, I believe that, by leaving home early, several beneficial things will occur, such as an increase in self-esteem and a more independent and self-esteem
life
.
Furthermore
, as a grown-up, you do not want your parents to know everything about your
life
and keeping secrets is easier by living apart from each other.
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IELTS essay Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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