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Many parents decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include example fr v.1

Many parents decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Give reason for your answer and include example fr v. 1
In today' s modern-society, parents generally opt out to stay at home to look after their children or elderly persons in-spite of having potential and educational qualifications to work. Many people assert that, those who sacrifice their career for family should get paid by government. However, I do not agree with this opinion as it is individuals choice to stay at home and it is difficult for government to monitor each family from this perception. There are several reasons why not to pay those who stay at home and take care of their family members, First of all, it is individuals choice to give priority to work or to look after family. It takes immense pressure handling capabilities of parents those who take care of family members and work at the same time. They have to sacrifice their leisure and entertainment time in doing so. As a result, their children also understand the significance of hard work in their growing age. Family members also acknowledge and understand the efforts taken by parents which increases mutual respect and understanding in family. Secondly, it is perfectly difficult for government to monitor and to identify the genuine cases where member of parents is unable to work because of family conditions. This may result into injustice to them who are working hard taking care of family and work together. To illustrate, those who are working hard and taking care of both the worlds will get discouraged if any such government policy is implemented. As a result, all parents will choose to be at home which will adversely affect government and national economy. Moreover, it will put additional burden on government budget. These are the factors that I think that should be considered. To conclude, it does happens due to some unforeseen circumstances that parents had to stay at home to look after family. But getting paid by government is not right thing to do as it is their own choice and government should not be held payable for it.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s modern-society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
generally
opt out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to look after their children or elderly persons in-spite of having potential and educational qualifications to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
sacrifice their career for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion as it is individuals choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home and it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to monitor each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from this perception.

There are several reasons why not to pay those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is individuals choice to give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or to look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It takes immense pressure handling capabilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the same time. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice their leisure and entertainment time in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
As a result
, their children
also
understand the significance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their growing age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
also
acknowledge and understand the efforts taken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which increases mutual respect and understanding in family.

Secondly
, it is
perfectly
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to monitor and to identify the genuine cases where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
conditions. This may result into injustice to them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together. To illustrate, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of both the worlds will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discouraged if any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policy
is implemented
.
As a result
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will choose to be at home which will
adversely
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and national economy.
Moreover
, it will put additional burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget. These are the factors that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that should
be considered
.

To conclude
, it does
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "happen"?
happens
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unforeseen circumstances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
getting paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not right thing to do as it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
be held
payable for it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Many parents decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Give reason for your answer and include example fr v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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