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Many parents believe that when their children read books for entertainment, they are wasting their time, and that they should read only serious, educational books. What is your opinion about this? v.3

Many parents believe that when their children read books for entertainment, they are wasting their time, and that they should read only serious, educational books. What is your opinion about this? v. 3
Some parents feel that their children should not waste time in reading entertaining books instead they should read books related to education. Reading educational books will only enhance their academic skills but entertaining books will help them to grow overall as a person. In my opinion, I disagree that reading entertaining books wastes time. Generally, educational books consist of a pre-fixed curriculum which focuses on academics. The reason for that is to improve logical thinking of children’s. This often results in, children’s competing against each other in exams. In addition, parents can accompany them in their studies which will strengthen their bond. However, these books limit the thinking process of children’s and they cannot see beyond the text of book. Reading is a part of education, which should not be limited to educational books. Conversely, reading entertaining books is not just a fun activity but it also teaches children’s how to think in imaginative way. They are designed in such a way that the reader feels joy in reading those books and this character leaves a good impression on a child’s brain. Moreover, because of these kinds of books children’s do not feel burdened. It also acts an extracurricular activity for them. These books not only enhance the imagination powers of children’s but also help them in improving their analytical skills. Therefore, reading these books should be encouraged by teachers. Parents should not only think of their children’s academics but also their overall personality which will grow, not only by reading educational books but also by entertaining books. Ultimately, entertaining books should have to be introduced to children’s and it will not waste their time but improve their thinking skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not waste time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
instead
they should read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
related to education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
enhance their academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow
overall
as a person. In my opinion, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
wastes time.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
consist of a pre-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
curriculum which focuses on academics. The reason for
that is
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
logical thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
competing against each other in exams.
In addition
, parents can accompany them in their studies which will strengthen their bond.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
limit the thinking process of children’
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
s and
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
beyond the text of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
is a part of education, which should not
be limited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
books.

Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a fun activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in imaginative way. They
are designed
in such a way that the reader feels joy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and this character
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on a child’s brain.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
do not feel burdened. It
also
acts an extracurricular activity for them. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
enhance the imagination powers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in improving their analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be encouraged
by teachers.

Parents should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their
overall
personality which will grow, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
and it will not waste their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Many parents believe that when their children read books for entertainment, they are wasting their time, and that they should read only serious, educational books. What is your opinion about this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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