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Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions. v.1

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions. v. 1
Childhood is very crucial and essential to nurture good values in children because at this age, they grasp quickly and imitate the same in the actual world. In recent times, Children are becoming more furious due to consumption of aggressive content. To begin with, Means of entertainment and recreation has altered the behaviour of children drastically. Creators have started developing games and Shows which are very negative and malevolent in nature. Majority of games are based on wars, combates and wrestling which instigates inappropriate and unlawful behavior in teenagers. It also generates psychological disorders and physical problems like low self esteem and eye problems. In addition to this, It also impacts the academic and social life of students. Besides this, producers are creating TV shows which malign the mind of youngsters and provoke them to attempt illgitimate activities like murder and other juvenile crimes. For example, Blue whale game was recently in news because of its format which allowes player to attempt suicides and harm other people. To counter this, Parents should develop an empathy towards children and motivate them to participate in sports and concentrate on studies to become successful. Moreover, they should also curb the access of the internet and allowed to use only for knowledge and information purpose. For example, Parents can use parental lock in TV and computer to restrict the unwanted usage. Furthermore, its collective responsibility of both mother and father to take preventive measures if they observe any changes in behaviour at the nascent stage so that it will not become more severe. To conclude, excessive usage of games and TV can infuriate and change the mind of children therefore, one should not take lightly the effect of virtual addiction.
Childhood is
very
crucial and essential to nurture
good
values in
children
because
at this age, they grasp
quickly
and imitate the same in the actual world. In recent times,
Children
are becoming more furious due to consumption of aggressive content.

To
begin
with, Means of entertainment and recreation has altered the
behaviour
of
children
drastically
. Creators have
started
developing
games
and
Shows
which are
very
negative
and malevolent in nature. Majority of
games
are based
on wars,
combates
and wrestling which instigates inappropriate and unlawful behavior in
teenagers
. It
also
generates psychological disorders and physical problems like low
self esteem
and eye problems.
In addition
to this, It
also
impacts the academic and social life of students.
Besides
this, producers are creating TV
shows
which malign the mind of youngsters and provoke them to attempt
illgitimate
activities like murder and other juvenile crimes.
For example
, Blue whale game was recently in news
because
of its format which
allowes
player to attempt suicides and harm other
people
.

To counter this, Parents should develop an empathy towards
children
and motivate them to participate in sports and concentrate on studies to become successful.
Moreover
, they should
also
curb the access of the internet and
allowed
to
use
only
for knowledge and information purpose.
For example
, Parents can
use
parental lock in TV and computer to restrict the unwanted usage.
Furthermore
, its collective responsibility of both mother and father to take preventive measures if they observe any
changes
in
behaviour
at the nascent stage
so
that it will not become more severe.

To conclude
, excessive usage of
games
and TV can infuriate and
change
the mind of
children
therefore
, one should not take
lightly
the effect of virtual addiction.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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