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Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems v.2

Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems v. 2
A large number of criminals who have previously served prison terms still commit crime when they get freedom. This mainly because they lack proper rehabilitation and also find it difficult to get gainful employement when released. There are number of solutions that can be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffended. First and Formost, One of the reason why criminal recommit crime when they are released is that is lack of rehabilitation while in prison. In other word, offender are not given the opportunity to learn new skills, better way of life that can be useful to them in the future. Anothet reason, is that they find it unease to get a good job, due to the fact that they lack employability skills. Umployement can led them to commit crime because there are financially i capacitated and lack means of livelihood. There are some effective solution that can be deploy to tackle this trend. One way of solving reoffended criminal i s training them while in prison. This can be done by empowering them with useful skills such as beadmaking, Fashion designer and catering to mention few. In doing so, it will give them the skill needed to be used to reintegrate with the society when they are out of prison and give them finacial support. Another solution is close monitoring of free man so that they will not engage in immoral activities. This can be implemented by organising regular seminars that will remind that what led them to imprison, Also to incurcate good way of life. To conclude, having equipped them while in prison and also closely monitoring of criminals when they are realeased are effective measures in dealing with this issue. If the state implement this solutions crime rate will reduce drastically.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who have previously served
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
terms
still
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
freedom. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
proper rehabilitation and
also
find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
gainful
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
when released. There are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
that can
be implemented
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffended
.

First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Formost
, One of the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
recommit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
when they
are released
is
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of rehabilitation while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. In other word, offender are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, better way of life that can be useful to them in the future.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anothet
reason, is that they find it unease to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, due to the fact that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
employability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Umployement
can led them to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
financially
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Possible spelling mistake found.
capacitated
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
means of livelihood.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
that can be
Consider using the past participle "deployed"?
deploy
to tackle this trend. One way of solving
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
i s training them while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. This can
be done
by empowering them with useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
beadmaking
, Fashion designer and catering to mention few. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it will give them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
needed to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to reintegrate with the society when they are out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and give them
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacial
support. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is close monitoring of free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not engage in immoral activities. This can
be implemented
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
regular seminars that will remind that what led them to imprison,
Also
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
incurcate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of life.

To conclude
, having equipped them while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and
also
closely
monitoring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
when they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
realeased
are effective measures in dealing with this issue.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the state implement this
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "solutions'" or "solution's"?
solutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
drastically
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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