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Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.1

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1
Although, after completing their first jail time, many criminals often commit more crime. One of the prominent reasons for this is unemployment and poverty. Firstly, criminals are not accepted by the society once they serve their first punishment. They do not get most of the jobs due to their past, and hence leading them towards unemployment and poverty. Because of unemployment they are not able to fulfil their or their family responsibilities and get motivated to do crime again. Secondly, the offenders are always on the lists of criminals under police radar even when they are thus free, making difficult for them to live a normal life. For instance, if a crime happens in their area, they are always taken by the police to check, if they were involved. Furthermore, having less police on the street also contributes to opportunistic crimes. Despite, these problems of first time offenders returning towards crime, the Government can take some important incentives such as skills training and rehabilitation programmes. These programmes can introduce many skills such as, learning computers, coding and cooking classes and many more which can help these criminals to earn their livelihood once they are free, and will eventually reduce crime rates and increase employment, thus, giving them a bright future. In addition, to this they should get counselling sessions while serving their punishment and even after leaving jail. This will help them get rid of their past and a start a new life. Moreover, more police force should be on the streets to stop crimes on the spot. In conclusion, the Government ought to utilize rehabilitation and skill training programmes in the jail for all criminals along with counselling sessions to make sure they will not return to crime.
Although, after completing their
first
jail time,
many
criminals
often
commit more
crime
. One of the prominent reasons for this is unemployment and poverty.

Firstly
,
criminals
are not
accepted
by the society once they serve their
first
punishment. They do not
get
most of the jobs due to their past, and
hence
leading them towards unemployment and poverty.
Because
of unemployment they are not able to fulfil their or their family responsibilities and
get
motivated to do
crime
again.
Secondly
, the offenders are always on the lists of
criminals
under
police
radar even when they are
thus
free, making difficult for them to
live
a normal life.
For instance
, if a
crime
happens in their area, they are always taken by the
police
to
check
, if they
were involved
.
Furthermore
, having
less
police
on the street
also
contributes to opportunistic crimes.

Despite, these problems of
first
time offenders returning towards
crime
, the
Government
can take
some
important
incentives such as
skills
training and rehabilitation
programmes
. These
programmes
can introduce
many
skills
such as, learning computers, coding and cooking classes and
many
more which can
help
these
criminals
to earn their livelihood once they are free, and will
eventually
reduce
crime
rates and increase employment,
thus
, giving them a bright future.
In addition
, to this they should
get
counselling sessions while serving their punishment and even after leaving jail. This will
help
them
get
rid of their past and a
start
a new life.
Moreover
, more
police
force should be on the streets to
stop
crimes
on the spot.

In conclusion
, the
Government
ought to utilize rehabilitation and
skill
training
programmes
in the jail for all
criminals
along with counselling sessions to
make
sure they will not return to
crime
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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