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Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
Several companies have an idea of allowing their employees to work from home. So, they can better manage their schedules. Despite some drawbacks, I think it is more beneficial in working at home. There are two main reasons to support an idea of working at home. Firstly, people do not waste their time in commuting. Lots of employees, especially in several big cities, face adversity in travelling. They have to deal with traffic congestions as well as long-distance travelling. Working from home certainly alleviates these problems and people will have more time to do what they want. Secondly, it will help us in managing the life schedules. With more flexible time in working hours, this will absolutely benefit many workers who have families as well as kids. They can choose working time and finish all tasks their companies ask for. Therefore, they have a free time in educating their children and have no problems in routine like picking up their kids after school time. On the other hand, working from home have some negative effects. To begin with, due to atmosphere and an environment, employees are more prone to be lazy and lack motivation in working. At home, nobody can force them to work. Sometimes, it will lead to bad outcomes because the employees start to do tasks few hours before a deadline. Apart from that, in some kinds of works, face-to-face meetings are crucial. For example, psychologists can better give an effective advice when they sit in front of their clients. they can perceive an eye contact, body languages as well as tones of voice. In conclusion, despite a drawback about motivation and problems in some careers, working from home is quite better in saving times for travelling as well as managing the time.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of allowing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to work from home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can better manage their schedules. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home.

There are two main reasons to support an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in commuting. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
especially
in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, face adversity in travelling. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with traffic congestions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as long-distance travelling.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
from home
certainly
alleviates these problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do what they want.
Secondly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in managing the life schedules. With more flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours, this will
absolutely
benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers who have families as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as kids. They can choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and finish all tasks their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
.
Therefore
, they have a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in educating their children and have no problems in routine like picking up their kids after school time.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to atmosphere and an environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are more prone to be lazy and lack motivation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. At home, nobody can force them to work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it will lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
tasks few hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a deadline. Apart from that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of works, face-to-face meetings are crucial.
For example
, psychologists can better give an effective advice when they sit in front of their clients.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can perceive an eye contact, body languages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as tones of voice.

In conclusion
, despite a drawback about motivation and problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
careers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is quite better in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for travelling as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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