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Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people We know what they eat where they buy their clothes and who they love We also often see pictures of them in private situations Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspa v.1

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people We know what they eat where they buy their clothes and who they love We also often see pictures of them in private situations Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspa v. 1
Due to industrialisation and modernisation, standard of living of the people is rising day by day. In recent times, most of the people in big cities are living very low quality life. There are many reasons for this and also appropriate measures can be taken to improve it. In my opinion, rising population, Westernisation and environmental pollution are the major issues for this type of life. Undoubtedly, people get almost all the facilities, when they live in bigger cities rather than in smaller cities. Everyone wants to live a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle, so they migrate to urban areas. As a result, a number of individuals are found in cities and to accommodate them, trees are cut to build houses and colonies. Less green space can cause air as well as water pollution. These pollutants when retain in the atmosphere, results in various respiratory and lung diseases. Such kind of diseases if remain among the community, they may cause unhealthy generation. However, to cure a pollution problem, more trees should be planted in populated areas. It purifies the air as well as water. Trees are the lungs of nature. Environmental friendly strategies should be followed while building houses. Every colony must have one park and lawn to maintain green environment. In my view, less cars should be used by people and more stressed should be done on public transportation, which saves our surroundings from harmful gases. Awareness programmes should be organised to spread awareness among the people about saving our environment. To conclude, everyone should take care of the environment to live a good quality life and should take care of everything that it should not be detrimental to the health of the people of the community.
Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
, standard of living of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is rising day by day. In recent times, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low quality life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this and
also
appropriate measures can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it. In my opinion, rising population,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Westernisation' is British English.
Westernisation
and environmental pollution are the major issues for this type of life.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
almost all the facilities, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they migrate to urban areas.
As a result
, a number of individuals
are found
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and to accommodate them, trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and colonies. Less green space can cause air
as well
as water pollution. These pollutants when retain in the atmosphere, results in various respiratory and lung diseases. Such kind of diseases if remain among the community, they may cause unhealthy generation.

However
, to cure a pollution problem, more trees should
be planted
in populated areas. It purifies the air
as well
as water. Trees are the lungs of nature. Environmental friendly strategies should
be followed
while building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Every colony
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have one park and lawn to maintain green environment.

In my view,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
should
be done
on public transportation, which saves our surroundings from harmful gases. Awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
to spread awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about saving our environment.

To conclude
, everyone should take care of the environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality life and should take care of everything that it should not be detrimental to the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people We know what they eat where they buy their clothes and who they love We also often see pictures of them in private situations Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspa v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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