Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while other are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweight the disadvantages? v.1

Many museums charge for admission while other are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweight the disadvantages? v. 1
Fast food, such as KFC or instant noodles is becoming increasingly common these days. Some people perceive that eating fast food is harmful to our diet and lifestyle. In this essay, I shall discuss why I completely agree with this viewpoint that consuming junk food generates negative impacts on us. There are various compelling reasons why junk food is gaining popularity in the society nowadays and the prominent one is that it enables people who have hectic schedules to save their precious time to prepare their daily meals as we are living in a fast-paced world and people tend to work hard to gain higher achievements. Additionally, we have to admit that a wide range of unhealthy junk good is more tasty compared to the healthy dishes. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that nearly 80% of high school students eat fast food at least once a day. As can be seen, fast food plays a crucial role in our daily life. However, every coin has two sides. One main negative consequence of this tendency is that people may lack of nutrition if they consume excessive amount of junk food because the ingredient of food is limited that is detrimental for our health. Take myself for example, fried chicken is one of my favorite food, but my therapist recommends me don’t eat too much oily food because it will worsen the acnes on my face. Therefore, this disadvantage has a profound impact on our health and lifestyle. To sum up, people’s opinion towards fast food is various. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that the overall disadvantages of junk food are superior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, such as KFC or instant noodles is becoming
increasingly
common these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is harmful to our diet and lifestyle. In this essay, I shall discuss why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint that consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on us.

There are various compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is gaining popularity in the society nowadays and the prominent one is that it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have hectic schedules to save their precious time to prepare their daily meals as we are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to gain higher achievements.
Additionally
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that a wide range of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
is more tasty compared to the healthy dishes.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that
nearly
80% of high school students eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at least once a day. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plays a crucial role in our daily life.

However
, every coin has two sides. One main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence of this tendency is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lack of nutrition if they consume excessive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ingredient of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is limited
that is
detrimental for our health. Take myself
for example
, fried chicken is one of my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my therapist recommends me don’t eat too much oily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will worsen the
Possible spelling mistake found.
acnes on
my face.
Therefore
, this disadvantage has a profound impact on our health and lifestyle.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is various. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that the
overall
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are superior.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while other are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweight the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts