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Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages. v.1

Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
Oil and gas is one of our main sources of power and it is a popular pressing problem that the society lives above its demand. Although people are heavily relying on the fossil fuel, the effort and the commitment made by people for maximizing the potential opportunities of alternative energy resources are definitely a positive development. Firstly, it is acknowledged by many professionals and the general public that the fossilized fuels are bound to be depleted; simply put, the availability of the source is strictly limited. To elaborate, studies completed by statisticians and environmentalists suspect that the oil and gas will face its lifetime in less than 50 years from now. For the sake of continued usage of the modern technology, it is strongly recommended to encourage the use of its substitutes, which do not have its concerns over the availability in the near future. Secondly, another positive aspect of the second option resources, such as wind and solar, lies on the fact that it demonstrates minimal impact on the air qualities, especially in the metropolitan areas. Fossil fuel, when it is burned, releases the carbon dioxide that exacerbates the degree of air pollution. In order to save the environment, people are demonstrating their initiative to improve the pollution level by using the other resources; it is definitely a responsible action exerted by the general public, which is considered as a positive development in our society. To conclude, although people are heavily dependent on fossil fuels nowadays, they are now aware of its limit, and the effort and the commitment in saving the environment by supporting the alternative energy resources is definitely a good sign in our society.
Oil and gas is one of our main sources of power and it is a popular pressing problem that the society
lives
above its demand. Although
people
are
heavily
relying on the fossil
fuel
, the effort and the commitment made by
people
for maximizing the potential opportunities of alternative energy resources are definitely a
positive
development.

Firstly
, it
is acknowledged
by
many
professionals and the
general public
that the fossilized
fuels
are bound
to
be depleted
;
simply
put, the availability of the source is
strictly
limited. To elaborate, studies completed by statisticians and environmentalists suspect that the oil and gas will face its lifetime in less than 50 years from
now
. For the sake of continued usage of the modern technology, it is
strongly
recommended to encourage
the
use
of its substitutes, which do not have its concerns over the availability in the near future.

Secondly
, another
positive
aspect of the second option resources, such as wind and solar, lies on the fact that it demonstrates minimal impact on the air qualities,
especially
in the metropolitan areas. Fossil
fuel
, when it
is burned
, releases the carbon dioxide that exacerbates the degree of air pollution. In order to save the environment,
people
are demonstrating their initiative to
improve
the pollution level by using the other resources; it is definitely a responsible action exerted by the
general public
, which
is considered
as a
positive
development in our society.

To conclude
, although
people
are
heavily
dependent on fossil
fuels
nowadays, they are
now
aware of its limit, and the effort and the commitment in saving the environment by supporting the alternative energy resources is definitely a
good
sign
in our society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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