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Today culture is becoming more or less similar all around the world. Is it a positive or negative trend? v.1

Today culture is becoming more or less similar all around the world. Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 1
Becoming a host country of some sport events can be considered an honour. However, some people argue that it can cause several issues for the selected country. In this essay, I shall explain both views regarding the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a host country and argue the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. To begin with, on the one hand, it is true that becoming a host of the matches is not easy for a country. For example, Indonesia was chosen to become the host country of ASEAN Games 2018. The government had to spend money on the development of sport buildings and some facilities around them. Furthermore, the local councils had to deal with the reconstruction of some facilities after the competitions. On the other hand, by becoming a host, countries have the opportunity to be widely known. Moreover, it can also strengthen the relationship among countries. For example, so many spectators came to Indonesia to give their support for the athletes from their home countries. After they watched the matches, most people did not directly fly back to their home, they visited some sites around the area. I personally believe this is the most effective way to introduce our country to foreign visitors. To sum up, although becoming a host country can lead to several issues, I personally believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Although a country has to spend much on preparing the supporting facilities for the matches, the recognition that the country gains can boost tourism which can increase the country’s revenue.
Becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
be considered
an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it can cause several issues for the selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both views regarding the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and argue the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, on the one hand, it is true that becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
of the matches is not easy for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Indonesia
was chosen
to become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of ASEAN Games 2018. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had to spend money on the development of sport buildings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities around them.
Furthermore
, the local councils had to deal with the reconstruction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities after the competitions.

On the other hand
, by becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the opportunity to be
widely
known.
Moreover
, it can
also
strengthen the relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spectators came to Indonesia to give their support for the athletes from their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. After they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the matches, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not
directly
fly
back to their home, they visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sites around the area. I
personally
believe this is the most effective way to introduce our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to foreign visitors.

To sum up, although becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can lead to several issues, I
personally
believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend much on preparing the supporting facilities for the matches, the recognition that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
gains can boost tourism which can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
revenue.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today culture is becoming more or less similar all around the world. Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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