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many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v.7

many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 7
Museums and historical sites are among the local attraction in any city. However, a record of local's low attendance has been noticed in historical attractions in general. furthermore, understanding the cause behind that issue would help greatly in forming solutions relevant to the situation at hand. Undoubtedly, the absence or the general lack of locals visiting many popular local attraction sites is due to several reasons. One these reasons, is the general lack of interest, especially among the youngsters or even the lack of appreciation for their historical local attractions. For further elaboration, many Egyptian teens have never been to the pyramids nor they even want to and that's because taking the presence of these magnificent monuments for granted or even their common disinterest in their local history, thus, the decreasing attendance among locals. Another reason is, that governments in some countries discourage locals from attending such places, so that they will not mingle with tourists or intimidate them. Conceiving solution for this problem will not be easy, if the government does not consult and join forces with other interested parties. First, the authority should form a counsel consisting of ministry of tourism delegates, representatives from the ministry of culture and other government officials, and this counsel is solely dedicated to increasing the number of local visitors. Secondly, teachers at schools have to raise the children's awareness regarding the importance of cherishing one's culture. Moreover, trips to such monuments should be conducted weekly. finally, the media should exert extra effort in spreading positive propaganda and enticing information domestically. To sum up, visiting such places is crucial, especially to native youngsters and the government should favour the native presence over the foreign one and act on it.
Museums and historical sites are among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
in any city.
However
, a record of local's low attendance has
been noticed
in historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
in general
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, understanding the cause behind that issue would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
greatly
in forming solutions relevant to the situation at hand.

Undoubtedly
, the absence or the general lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
sites is due to several reasons. One these reasons, is the general lack of interest,
especially
among the youngsters or even the lack of appreciation for their historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
. For
further
elaboration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Egyptian teens have never been to the
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pyramids nor
they even want to and that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
taking the presence of these magnificent monuments for granted or even their common disinterest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
history,
thus
, the decreasing attendance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. Another reason is, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
from attending such places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not mingle with tourists or intimidate them.

Conceiving solution for this problem will not be easy, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not consult and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
forces with other interested parties.
First
, the authority should form a counsel consisting of ministry of tourism delegates, representatives from the ministry of culture and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
officials, and this counsel is
solely
dedicated to increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors.
Secondly
, teachers at schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
raise the children's awareness regarding the importance of cherishing one's culture.
Moreover
, trips to such monuments should
be conducted
weekly.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, the media should exert extra effort in spreading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
propaganda and enticing information
domestically
.

To sum up, visiting such places is crucial,
especially
to native youngsters and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the native presence over the foreign one and act on it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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