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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v.1

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 1
In these days, the issue of many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people has aroused people’s discussion. Several problems of this situation should be identified before any actual solutions are considered. There are several reasons why residents do not find museums interesting. First, they tend not to attracted by places and objects that are familiar to their cultural backgrounds, people choose to travel overseas to explore new cultures and different customs. In fact, many museums and historical often poorly conserved, no upgrade from the local government, which leads to most of its visitors are tourists. Second, by paying the entrance fee to get inside these spots, this could be the major factor that discourages the local people. This means that a person visited it once, they would avoid visiting it again because nobody wants to pay again to see it when there is no change, which residents feel little or no benefits there. However, there are several workable solutions to attract local visitors to local museums. First, if the places are designed with a modern style, they will become attractive to people. For example, these places should be designed with 3d motions and display objects lively through touch-screen technology, which triggers people’s curiosity and interest as a result. Seconds, in order to a lively environment, local officials can also organize a variety of festivals in places. This means that there are folk festivals or traditional festivals can be held in museums to attract residents, which helps them to better understand the culture and tradition of the nation. In conclusion, this problem is caused by many reasons, and some solutions will be considered to solve it. By investing in the cost of upgrading museums and historicals, these places will attract local as well as tourists
In these days, the issue of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historical sites are
mainly
visited by tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
aroused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
discussion. Several problems of this situation should
be identified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any actual solutions
are considered
.

There are several reasons why residents do not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
interesting.
First
, they tend not to attracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and objects that are familiar to their cultural backgrounds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to travel overseas to explore new cultures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customs. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
poorly
conserved, no upgrade from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which leads to most of its visitors are tourists. Second, by paying the entrance fee to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inside these spots, this could be the major factor that discourages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This means that a person visited it once, they would avoid visiting it again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nobody wants to pay again to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it when there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which residents feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no benefits there.

However
, there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
solutions to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
First
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are designed
with a modern style, they will become attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should
be designed
with 3d motions and display objects lively through touch-screen technology, which triggers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
curiosity and interest
as a result
. Seconds, in order to a lively environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
officials can
also
organize a variety of festivals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This means that there are folk festivals or traditional festivals can
be held
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to attract residents, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to better understand the culture and tradition of the nation.

In conclusion
, this problem
is caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions will
be considered
to solve it. By investing in the cost of upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
historicals
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
as well
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tourists
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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