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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statemen v.7

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statemen v. 7
The education system has been changed in various ways to educate children and to make them successful in their lives. Unfortunately, schools are less focused on teaching life skills to their students. I believe that not only generic subjects like science should be part of the teaching, but also foundation courses like accounting should be included in the school curriculum. Schools should teach the basics of financial concepts to their students. As children are less exposed to financial discussions at their home due to the control of their parents it should be the responsibility of schools to educate children and to give them practical knowledge in dealing with and managing money. For instance, teachers can train the students by giving assignments to create a budget plan to school events or by giving real-time examples as project work. Youth is more likely to have success in their careers if they have knowledge in handling the money and gaining the profits. For example, once the students have received their degrees most of the youth is willing to get into the business or into a startup company with their innovative ideas. Unfortunately, they are unable to handle the loss and sustain in the world with the huge competition. Considering these impacts, I believe that by learning basic skills at school will definitely help the entrepreneurs to succeed in their lives. In conclusion, educating children with financial courses is equally important when compared with their regular academic subjects. So, it's crucial for them to get their foundation built at institutes so that they can easily handle their financial life and can lead their future successfully.
The education system has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in various ways to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are less focused on teaching life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generic subjects like science should be part of the teaching,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
foundation courses like accounting should
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.

Schools should teach the basics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
concepts to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
discussions at their home due to the control of their parents it should be the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to give them practical knowledge in dealing with and managing money.
For instance
, teachers can train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by giving assignments to create a budget plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or by giving real-time examples as project work.

Youth is more likely to have success in their careers if they have knowledge in handling the money and gaining the profits.
For example
, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have received their degrees most of the youth is willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the business or into a startup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with their innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Unfortunately, they are unable to handle the loss and sustain in the world with the huge competition. Considering these impacts, I believe that by learning basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the entrepreneurs to succeed in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
courses is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when compared with their regular academic subjects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it's crucial for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their foundation built at institutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
life and can lead their future
successfully
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statemen v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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