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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist but not local people. Why is this case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these place. v.1

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist but not local people. Why is this case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these place. v. 1
In recent decades, tourists from many parts of the world pay more visits to museums and historical places than local inhabitants has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this problem can be contributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can consider to address this. On the one hand, there are two compelling reasons why museums are attracting tourists than local people. Firstly, since museums are too similar to their locals. If museums do not change anything, there will be nothing new for local inhabitants to discover. Like eating a same dish every single day, they will bore with visiting the same places. Further more, entrance tickets at some historical sites are prohibitively expensive for local people to afford. To cite an example, in Ha Giang, a province at the North Vietnam, it is rather hard for resident to make ends meet, spend money on visiting some famous museums. On the other hand, the government should take some steps to tackle this issues effectively. First, museums need to be invested in more by authorities to refresh the exhibits. The fresher the exhibits are more local indigenous will be attracted by them. Second, historical sites need to be free for all people. Without worrying about additional expenditures, local people will pay more to visit historical places in order to enrich knowledge about their hometowns. In conclusion, there are some known reasons for this tendency. However, something should be done by the authorities to attract more visitors from inhabitants places.
In recent decades, tourists from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world pay more visits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this problem can
be contributed
to a whole host of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions can
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider addressing".
consider to address
this.

On the one hand, there are two compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are attracting tourists than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are too similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
anything, there will be nothing new for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants to discover. Like eating a same dish every single day, they will
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
bore
with visiting the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Further
more, entrance tickets at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites are
prohibitively
expensive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to afford. To cite an example, in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Giang
, a province at the North Vietnam, it is
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for resident to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, spend money on visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
museums.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to tackle this issues
effectively
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
need to
be invested
in more by authorities to refresh the exhibits. The fresher the exhibits are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
indigenous will
be attracted
by them. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites need to be free for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Without worrying about additional expenditures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will pay more to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to enrich knowledge about their hometowns.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
known reasons for this tendency.
However
, something should
be done
by the authorities to attract more visitors from inhabitants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist but not local people. Why is this case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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