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Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
No museums in the contemporary world are free due to their maintenance and effective functionality. While some depositories conduct exhibitions without any cost they are limited to a day or two for educational purposes. charging an admission fee for museums would benefit the building and organisations who hold these facilities which is an advantage can expand if necessary at the same time a free entrance into all museums would make exhibitors difficult to go through taking care of such precious things inside which incur some bills. this explains that advantages of charging an admission fee far outweighs the disadvantages of it. To embark on, any place which has no limits or security will be ruined and damaged by visitors or users for sake of their self, no one bears accountability for preventing the place from damage or show some discipline towards what they are being using, this is because such culture is inhibited among citizens. But, if anything is chargeable and should pay fine if something is damaged by public would be taken utmost care to preserve their importance. achieving this is only possible by drawing some charge towards exhibiting precious ancient things in museums. For example, recently a art gallery was closed as they ran out of funds for maintaining it as it was completely free and artists did not received any remuneration for their hardwork and thought of depending only on funds which lead to its closure at the end. Moreover, charging a minimum price for exclusive products in a museum would preserve its structure and emphasize the development in the future if required and if customers pay for the demanded price they also express some respect and responsibility towards what they are experiencing inside museums, so that, running a organisation is also easy and burden free. For instance, Salarjung museum received a award for world-class maintenance and keeping things intact as they were in the ancient periods without any damage which was achieved with basic fare impacted on tourists and customers. In conclusion, in consideration with above mentioned factors and consequences, entrance or admission fees advantages could far outweigh the disadvantages of a cost-free museums
No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the contemporary world are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
due to their maintenance and effective functionality. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
depositories conduct exhibitions without any cost they
are limited
to a day or two for educational purposes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
charging
an admission fee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would benefit the building and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
who hold these facilities which is an advantage can expand if necessary at the same time a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
entrance into all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
exhibitors difficult to go through taking care of such precious things inside which incur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bills.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that advantages of charging an admission fee far outweighs the disadvantages of it.

To embark on, any place which has no limits or security will
be ruined
and damaged by visitors or users for sake of their self, no one bears accountability for preventing the place from damage or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discipline towards what they are being using, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such culture
is inhibited
among citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if anything is chargeable and should pay fine if something
is damaged
by public would
be taken
utmost care to preserve their importance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
achieving
this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible by drawing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
charge towards exhibiting precious ancient things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
For example
, recently
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
art gallery
was closed
as they ran out of funds for maintaining it as it was completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and artists did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "receive"
received
any remuneration for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of depending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on funds which lead to its closure at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Moreover
, charging a minimum price for exclusive products in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
would preserve its structure and emphasize the development in the future if required and if customers pay for the demanded price they
also
express
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respect and responsibility towards what they are experiencing inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, running
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is
also
easy and burden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Salarjung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
received
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
award for world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
maintenance and keeping things intact as they were in the ancient periods without any damage which
was achieved
with basic fare impacted on tourists and customers.

In conclusion
, in consideration with above mentioned factors and consequences, entrance or admission fees advantages could far outweigh the disadvantages of a cost-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museum charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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