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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn v.39

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? 39
Nowadays, it is true that more and more people have chosen online shopping as their shopping method. Despite having its own drawbacks, shopping on the Internet has brought a lot of benefits to the customers. On the one hand, this way of shopping has tremendous advantages. First, it’s undeniable that the Internet has changed our consuming behaviors and made it a lot more easier for people to purchase their goods. We have past the days when we have to go to supermarket to buy groceries or to a bookstore to buy books, now everything can be done in just a simple click. For instance, to buy airplane tickets, I don’t have to take the time to go a travel agency, I can just stay at home and make the purchase on the airline’s website. Secondly, this convenience of online shopping helps companies lower the cost of production and delivery, thus resulting in the reduction of prices. Finally, people can make comparisons of products on the Internet, which help them purchase the product with the best price & quality. On the other hand, online shopping still have some drawbacks. It might contain some risks in the process of online transactions which could leak people’s confidental credit card informations. For example, a few months ago, a Vietcombank user reported being stolen 1 billion VND in her bank account by hackers. The indicent happened after the customer made a purchase on the internet. Furthermore, not all the shopping websites can be trusted beucase the quality of their products may not stay true to what is advertised. Consumers can also be easily swayed by advertisements on the Internet and end up buying goods impulsively. In conclusion, online shopping is clearly a modern advance and it will shape up the way we purchase goods in the future.
Nowadays, it is true that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
method. Despite having its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the customers.

On the one hand, this way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has tremendous advantages.
First
, it’s undeniable that the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our consuming behaviors and made it a lot
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. We have past the days when we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to supermarket to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries or to a bookstore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everything can
be done
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a simple click.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
airplane tickets, I don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the time to go a travel agency, I can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
on the airline’s website.
Secondly
, this convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
lower the cost of production and delivery,
thus
resulting in the reduction of prices.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
comparisons of products on the Internet, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
the product with the best price
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; quality.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. It might contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transactions which could leak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
confidental
credit card
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
.
For example
, a few months ago, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vietcombank
user reported
being stolen
1 billion VND in her bank account by hackers. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
indicent
happened after the customer made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
on the internet.
Furthermore
, not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites can
be trusted
Possible spelling mistake found.
beucase
the quality of their products may not stay true to what
is advertised
. Consumers can
also
be
easily
swayed by advertisements on the Internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
impulsively
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
clearly
a modern advance and it will shape up the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the future.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? 39

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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