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Many more people travel nowadays than in the past. What impact does this increase in tourism have on the countries that they visit? v.2

Many more people travel nowadays than in the past. What impact does this increase in tourism have on the countries that they visit? v. 2
In recent years the tourism industry has significant growth worldwide and have several effects on host countries. In many countries, visitors have several negative effects on host countries. In many cases, tourists destroy the environment in host countries, especially in virgin environmental areas in that they not enough take care about protecting the environment. For instance, when some adventure tourist goes to the forest and they harm plants and animals territories. In addition, many tourists affect conservatism cultures. For example, when some foreign visitors go to some rural areas, they have different behavior and collection that are totally new for native people and it might affect on youngest natives to follow their behavior or collections. Many countries are totally warm welcoming to tourist because they can earn a lot of money from them. Moreover, host countries try to establish new attraction such as new hotels and tourist areas to absorb them to their countries. In addition, the tourism industry has a major effect on employment in that they can increase their employment in many direct and indirect jobs. For example, someones work in hotels or work in a transportation system are related to directly tourists. Moreover, some jobs like building workers who work to build new hotels or some constriction are indirectly related to tourist. Although tourists have negative effects on host countries such as cultural impact or destroying the environment, visitors have more benefits for countries that attract new visitors to their countries to increase their revenues and employment.
In recent years the tourism industry has significant growth worldwide and have several effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
countries.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
in virgin environmental areas in that they not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
take care about protecting the environment.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
goes to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forest and
they harm plants and animals territories.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
affect conservatism cultures.
For example
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural areas, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
behavior and collection that are
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
for native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and it might
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on youngest natives to follow their behavior or collections.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
totally
warm welcoming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money from them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
try to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
attraction such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
hotels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
areas to absorb them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
, the tourism industry has a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on employment in that they can increase their employment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
direct and indirect jobs.
For example
, someones work in hotels or work in a transportation system
are related
to
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs like building workers who work to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
hotels or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "constrictions"?
constriction
are
indirectly
related to tourist.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as cultural impact or destroying the environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
have more benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to increase their revenues and employment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many more people travel nowadays than in the past. What impact does this increase in tourism have on the countries that they visit? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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