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Student who keep their rooms organized are more successful than those who do not keep it organized. Agree or disagree? v.2

Student who keep their rooms organized are more successful than those who do not keep it organized. Agree or disagree? v. 2
Everyone wants to success in future career. Success depends on number of things but it is not necessary that who person well organized his/her room, he will be successful. A person becomes successful for his/her hard word, knowledge and experience. To begin with, hard work is fundamental requirement for reach to the success. We learn in school and college that hard working person never will be fail, So it is not depends that how students kept their room is well or messy. Take myself in an example, I m not cleaning my room daily, even I have free time most spend on the creativity such as decorating the new object and sell it, so its help to earning money and developing handicraft skill. This skill helped me, when my college organized international exhibition in which I introduced my artist skill front of the world and that time I really worked hard and gave my whole time to decorating pot. Fortunately, I got second rank for decorative skill that was my first step of my success. Then, I made many objects which sold on national and international exhibition, therefore, success is not depend how students living habits. Furthermore, knowledge and experience play substantial role for reach to success. In current scenario, a person without knowledge cannot stand in the society. For an example, if a person has habits keep his home or room well organized, clean and neat but has not good knowledge about his academic. When, he go for job interview and interviewer ask question about his field related, that time person knowledge helps to getting the job not his habit to well organized room. Like knowledge, experience is also one way to reach the success. While, some one claims that a person has well organized, then he is well in all things. This assumption is not true because person living style not effect on his success. In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, a person become successful for his talent, hard work, knowledge and experience not for his better living style habits. That' s reasons; I disagree with statement that students who keep their rooms organized are more successful than those who do keep it organized.
Everyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in future career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
depends on number of things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not necessary that who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, he will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
for his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work is fundamental requirement for reach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. We learn in school and college that
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
never will be fail,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
that how students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
or messy. Take myself in an example,
It seems that an apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "I'm"?
I m
not cleaning my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
daily, even I have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
most spend on the creativity such as decorating the new object and sell it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to earning money and developing handicraft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me, when my college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
international exhibition in which I introduced my artist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
front of the world and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I
really
worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and gave my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to decorating pot.
Fortunately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
second rank for decorative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that was my
first
step of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Then, I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
objects which sold on national and international exhibition,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is not
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
how students living habits.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience play substantial role for reach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
cannot stand in the society. For an example, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his home or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
, clean and neat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about his academic. When, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "goes", "went".
go
for job interview and interviewer ask question about his field related, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to getting the job not his habit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. Like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, experience is
also
one way to reach the success.

While,
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
claims that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
, then he is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in all things. This assumption is not true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
living style not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on his success.

In brief
, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
for his talent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience not for his better living style habits.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s reasons; I disagree with statement that students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
than those who do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Student who keep their rooms organized are more successful than those who do not keep it organized. Agree or disagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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